Blue Eyes (bxb)

Twenty Three

Like I said, family meals are awkward for us all. I sat with my fork tapping the table, staring aimlessly at the brocoli and chicken on my plate. Mum and Dad were busy discussing water bills or something like that and Steph was trying to get Bobby to stop playing with his carrots, failing miserably, of course.

My mind wandered back to Finley. I couldn't wait to see him again, even if it was only a couple hours since he was last here. But something about him drew me in, like a line and hook. He was toying with my every emotion, and for some strange reason, I was enjoying it. I'd never felt so addicted to someone before. It was as if he were a drug.

I glanced up from my plate to see my parents staring at me expectantly. "Huh?" I said.

"Oh, for god's sake, Zakary, your mother and I were asking you a question!" Dad sterned.

"Sorry, long day. What did you say?"

"Did you have a nice day at school?" Mum queried, her cheeks almost splitting with the smile she threw on.

"Oh, uh, yeah, I guess. Mr. Smythe was being a dickhead and almost gave me a detention, but there's nothing new there. And Rachel Patterson was caught shagging this lad in the school bathroom and, for once, I had fuck-all to do with it." I laughed to myself slightly at the thought. Good on Mason - a fellow footy team member of mine - on scoring that one. Her tits are fucking huge, after all.

"Language, Zakary. There's no need to be so foul-mouthed at the dinner table," Dad sighed, defeatedly.

" 'Kay, whatever," I shrugged, him and I knowing fine well I'd continue to cuss freely in the presence of my family.

"Wait... isn't Rachel Patterson that bitch in the year above you?" Steph asked.

"Stephanie, what did I just say?" Dad barked.

"Fuck off, I'm an adult, he's not," she said, flicking my ear with her acrylic nails. My bottom lip jutted out and my eyes narrowed on her.

"Does anyone around here have any respect?" Dad muttered, his nostrils flaring.

"Anyway, yeah, why?" I said.

"Just wondering. That fat-arse tried picking fights with me all the time, just 'coz I got my hair highlighted the same day she did and then she claimed that "I copied her"," she mocked, throwing air quotes around the last part. "Bullshit. Sounds about right for her to be fucking in a shitty school loo. That girl's got no class whatsoever."

I snorted. Yes, my sister is indeed the best. I don't care what her dickhead of an ex thinks, she's amazing.

"For crying out loud! Listen to me! No swearing at the dinner table! Show some respect for your own parents!" Dad snapped. I jerked, and so did my sibling. My eyes widened and I nodded mechanically.

"David, honey, let them be. They aren't little kids, you know." Mum tried to intervene, but the vein was throbbing above Dad's left eye, and that only ever happened when he was seriously pissed.

"All I want, Nancy, is for my kids to act with dignity."

"I understand that, love, but they do. It's only a couple cusses, it's not like their sleeping around with prostitutes-" Steph scoffed. Dad shot daggers through her with his cold grey eyes, whilst Mum's jaw fell to the floor, her gaze lingering over me.

My cheeks heated up. Once. I've only ever slept with one prostitute. She was a hot blonde twenty-two year old from Cambridge. Killer hips. I gave her a fifty I stole from Mum's purse and she gave me a night I'd never forget. Steph is the only one who knows, purely because she caught me sneaking through the front door in the morning. It was worth it though.

"Zakary... is there something you want to tell us?" Mum asked slowly.

"Nope, I'm alright, actually."

"You haven't been... messing around with any of those women?"

"Not that I'm aware, no. And frankly I'm offended you would suspect me of such disrespectful behaviour."

"Oh cut the crap, Zak. Get to your room," Dad sighed.

"You've gotta be kidding me, I'm almost eighteen. I'm not a baby."

"Then you should know better. Just go, I don't wanna have to see you for the rest of the night." By the dullness of his voice, I knew there was no arguing, so I just did as I was told. I got to my feet and stalked up the stairs to my dim room.

I didn't care, it meant I could escape the tension. Though it did leave me with an uneasy knot in the pit of my stomach.

I've always strived to please my father, but no matter how hard I try to please him, he always puts me down. I wouldn't care, if we didn't have to live with one another. That whole situation just adds a whole heck of a lot of pressure. And eventually having to come out to him? I can't even imagine the disappointment and hatred dripping from his lips. I'll be far from the perfect son. He'd probably kick me out onto the streets without a lingering thought. And Mum's too soft to stand up to him, she just agrees with everything he says and that's that.

Why am I like this? What convinced someone to create such an outcast like myself? Is it a punishment? For being a total arse crack to everyone who stepped in my way. If so, then I'm done. I give in. I'm sorry. I regret everything, even fucking around with Skai. I just want my life back. The one where I didn't give a shit what people thought of me or what I wore or who I loved. All that shit means nothing, but telling my brain that is a whole other story.

I didn't notice I was sobbing hysterically into my pillow, legs frailing around whilst I lay belly-down on the navy bedsheets. Tears gathered across the cotton like puddles after a heavy downpour. I could feel my eyelids swelling and a headache brewing.

It took a minute to calm myself down, taking a few slow breaths, before climbing into bed in just a pair of boxer briefs. Tomorrow is a new day. A new day that held a budding romance between me and the most beautiful boy in the world. A fluttery feeling erupted in my chest when I thought about those blue, blue eyes and I felt myself drift off with a smile on my face.

Song - 'Home' by Machine Gun Kelly, X Ambassadors & Bebe Rexha

It's been ages I know!! I'm so sorry for the slow update but I unintentionally took a break, purely because I didn't feel inspired. Everything I was writing was shitty and I'd rather wait and give y'allz a good update rather than be quick but produce a shitty one. I hope you understand.

But I'm back now and I'm aware that this chapter is short but it's the best I got to move the story forwards. Anyway I hope those who celebrate had a merry Christmas and best of luck for the New Year!!