𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐦𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐥𝐚 𝐞𝐟𝐟𝐞𝐜𝐭 , 𝟖𝟎𝐬

30 = red-handed

[ tw ! substance abuse ]

approximately 35 minutes ago, one of the worst things that could've happened, did. the word about my sexual assault made it in my manager michael's hands, and he's now on the phone with my aunt maggie talking to her about it.

i was sitting in my room and decided to take half a bar and sip on some of the straight vodka that i found down in the kitchen. i was aware this was an extremely dumb coping mechanism, definitely not the smartest mix of drugs, nor the safest ... at all. a mixture of these two is known to lead to blackouts, slowed heart rate, and death.

but my mentality at this point in time is that i'll just let god do the big decision making from now on.

i heard aunt maggie's footsteps near my room as soon as the phone call ended and i quickly hid the bottle of vodka behind my pillows on my bed.

the conversation started off fine. she was sweet, caring, trying to make sure i felt comfortable talking to her about this very serious situation. i on the other hand was just trying to look sober, make sure my eyelids didn't fall too low, and not zone out every second.

"i'm so sorry this happened to you, sweetie. and i know how you must feel right now but we need to take this to the police." aunt maggie said.

"hell no." i stood up from my bed.

"why? that man needs to be in jail!"

"because who's gonna care?" i looked down at her from where i stood as she was kneeling by the side of my bed, "i'm nobody. i don't have either of my parents anymore, my best friend likes being here more than i do, i hang out with a 21 year old more than anyone else-"

"you're not nobody, brandy." she stood up, "you have so many people who care about you!"

"you're never here! you run off with friends and get insanely drunk for days at a time! i'm all alone in this and i'm no one so who cares if this doesn't get taken to the police?"

"why're you saying these things?" her voice sounded hurt.

"because i don't even care about myself anymore! i'd rather be anywhere but here right now." i was officially laughing through my own tears.

i walked out of my room and headed downstairs but she followed me of course.

"where are you going? you've been going out every night, i have no idea where you are or what you're doing."

"it doesn't fucking matter!" i yelled back to her as i walked through the kitchen.

"brandy avery alexander!" my aunt yelled as she was still coming down the stairs. that made me stop in my tracks. i've never heard my full name before. i didn't even know i had a middle name.

i felt my body shaking and i couldn't even move right based off of the mix of xanax and alcohol i had in my system. they make your muscles feel so relaxed that you begin to stumble when you walk.

brandy avery alexander isn't me, my name's kennedy, and that's all i wanted to tell her. but i still couldn't. how does one just casually bring up that they're an accidental time traveller taking over the life of someone they're not and getting brutally fucked by it? you can't.

"that's not me." i mumbled quietly while accidentally stumbling into a glass table in the foyer that had a vase of flowers in them i received for my birthday. the vase wobbled and crashed onto the floor. the roses, water, and shards of glass went everywhere across the white tile.

maggie ran over to me as i slid down the wall and sat there. tears were streaming down my face and i felt like i couldn't breathe.

"what are you taking, brandy?" her voice lowered in attempt to calm me.

i shook my head as my only response. "you're clearly on something. you haven't been acting like yourself in awhile."

"nothing!" i yelled through my sobs, "i'm not on anything!" my hand came in contact with the floor and piece of glass slit through my skin. this only caused me to cry more.

"i told michael to come over here before we hung up." she told me as she fetched paper towels for my cut.

"what! why?"

"because he's your manager and i feel like he knows you better than i do at this point. i thought it'd help to talk to him." she said as she made sure there wasn't any glass stuck in my wound before wrapping the towels around it tightly.

"i don't wanna talk to him." i shook my head and with that, the doorbell rang.

aunt maggie stepped over the mess on the floor and opened the front door. no surprise it was michael standing on the other side. he and i made brief eye contact but i broke it by rolling my eyes and looking away.

before letting him in i heard her whisper, "she's down here. she tried to leave, i don't know where she wanted to go but she ran into the table and there's a mess on the floor. she cut herself on accident, and she's clearly taking drugs, michael, i don't know what to do." there was a moment of silence, or at least i couldn't hear anything, before they stepped back inside.

"hey, kid." michael gave me a small smile as he walked towards me.

"i don't need a fucking intervention." i stood up slowly since my legs felt weak, "i just wanna go to sleep."

"you were just trying to the leave the house a minute ago." maggie put her hands on her hips.

"well now i wanna sleep. so goodnight, michael. thanks for your concern." i sarcastically said before making my way back through the length of my house.

"this is what i mean! she's not herself!" maggie called out as they followed behind me.

"brandy, can't we just talk? we're worried about you." michael said as i ran up the stairs.

"i'm not talking tonight." i said through my teeth, turning the light off in my room.

"fine, but we're talking soon. tomorrow is best, okay?" michael said, standing in the doorframe of my room with maggie beside him.

"yeah, yeah." i said, hopping in my bed and immediately getting under the covers. the movement of my pillows caused the bottle of alcohol to fall onto my floor. "fuck." i mumbled, my eyes still closed.

i didn't even bother to peak at them. i could imagine their faces, giving each other a look about how disappointed they are in me. i can only guess one of them picked it up before they both left my room to go talk about me. i didn't care to argue with either one of them anymore and i let myself fall asleep.