𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐦𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐥𝐚 𝐞𝐟𝐟𝐞𝐜𝐭 , 𝟖𝟎𝐬

22 = numb

(trigger warning! - sexual assault)

MONDAY, AUGUST 17th 1987

brandy's point of view

i stood against a concrete pillar in the parking garage thinking over the past hour and a half. it came in flashes. he asked me to come into the back office with him to get the newly printed script for one of the later scenes we hadn't filmed yet. next thing i knew, half of my body was being forcefully held down on to the desk. i screamed, i tried to fight him off, but none of that worked.

i thank god i couldn't see him or anything for that matter. a lamp on the desk was the only source of lighting in that room. but my eyes were closed most of the time ... trying to block out what exactly was happening to me in that moment.

he left me in there alone afterwards. it took me about five minutes to even move a muscle. the director of the goddamn movie i'm working on raped me ... but i should've seen it coming. ever since the day of auditions - he even tried it there too. i guess it's my fault for even going in that room with him.

the sound of a car, jason's car, coming up the turns of the parking garage knocked me out of my traumatizing thoughts. out of all days, today jason told me he'd pick me up from set. i don't know if it's better this way, or if i'd be better off alone right now.

i blinked, my eyes stung yet they were still watery from crying. my arms were crossed over my chest and i was biting on my nail when jason pulled up right in front of me, windows down and smiling.

"hey star girl." he said as i quickly opened the passengers door.

"how was today?" he asked, beginning to drive away.

i couldn't even open my mouth to speak. my eyes haven't moved from the dashboard in front of me.

"you okay?"

"brandy." i jumped as his fingers brushed my shoulder.

our eyes met for just a second and that's all it took for him to quickly throw the car into second and come to a complete stop.

"what happened?"

i shook my head.

"brandy, what the hell happened?"

tears fell on to my cheeks and he pulled me into a hug. it felt okay for a few seconds until i started to feel suffocated and my heart began to pound.

"i wanna go home." i mumbled in a whisper.

"i'll take you home."

i was full blown bawling my eyes out at this point, "no! i wanna go home!"

"i know, i can take you home right now." jason sounded scared and worried. i could see it in his eyes that he was.

i shook my head. i just wanted this whole weird 80s fever dream to be over. it felt like a bad trip at this point honestly. i just wanted to go home. to present day, to my time.

but i couldn't talk about that right now.

"okay." i said.

=

the last thing jason said to me before i got out of his car was, "i don't know what happened today brandy, but i hate seeing you like this. you don't have to tell me anything if you don't want to ... but if you need me, you call me, okay?"

i walked myself up to my bathroom, took a steaming hot shower and then flopped onto my bed afterwards. i clenched my comforter in my hands and my wet hair fell in front of my eyes.

i didn't wanna move. i didn't wanna talk. i didn't necessarily want to exist at this point either. the only thing i was able to do however was close my eyes and hope to fall asleep.