Only Room For One

25 - "Explain."

I ran up the four flights of stairs, my breathing heavy when I reached her floor.

Once I found her room, I began pounding on her door. What if she wasn't here anymore?

"Selena! Selena, open the door!"

I waited before banging on the door again. "Selena, please open the door. Let me explain everything to you. I'm not leaving until you do."

The door cracked open a few seconds later. I couldn't see her, but I could hear her. "What are you doing here? Don't you have a show?"

"Fuck the show. That's not important, you are. Can I come in? I want to tell you the truth." I looked through the crack at her.

She hesitated before slowly opening the door enough to let me in.

"Thank you." I smiled at her as I walked in.

Once I had a good look at her face, my heart crushed. She had puffy eyes from crying, fresh tears still on her cheeks and she was sniffling. The thing I had never wanted to happen to her, did. She was hurt, and it was worse because it was by me.

Involuntarily, I stepped forward to wrap my arms around her and comfort her. It was a habit. She stepped back away from me, looking at me like I was some kind of monster. That hurt.

"I let you in to explain, now explain or leave." Her arms were crossed over her chest. She tried to look strong but I knew inside she was fragile.

I took a deep breath. This was going to be hard. "Okay, well I met Yovanna the first day of the tour. After the show, she was waiting for me in my room naked. I tried to stop her but I just had no control over myself. So we had sex. I knew I had fucked up so I promised myself I wouldn't be around her anymore. I tried to have her fired but I couldn't tell Scooter I was fucking her." My choice of words made Selena cringe. "Sorry, having sex with her. The next show she did the same thing and I fought it as hard as I could but she seduced me. And it ended up becoming a regular thing before and/or after every show." My eyes were glued to the ground. I couldn't see how hurt she was, I couldn't handle it.

Everything was quiet for a while. Then she spoke up quietly. "So you didn't actually have to perform an extra show on my birthday, did you?"

"No.." I closed my eyes. "I missed my flight because of.. well, you know.." I knew I was digging the knife in her deeper but she needed to know the truth.

I heard her sniffle before she walked over to the window. "Get out, please."

I looked up at her, taking a step closer to her new position. "Selena, don't do this.. I can't afford to lose you. You're my everything."

"Should've thought about that while you were fucking her. Get out." Her voice was filling with anger. I wasn't backing down.

"No. I'm not leaving. I'm not giving up on you." I stood tall as she turned around, her eyes full of fire. I knew I was pissing her off, and pissed off Selena was dangerous.

"Why don't you get the hint? I want you leave. Go away. I don't want to see you anymore. I hate you. You disgust me." She moved closer to me, her words piercing my heart. But I knew her better than she thought. She always went for the jugular in arguments.

"No. You don't hate me. I'm not leaving, because this is going to be worked out. We're not just giving up this easy."

She laughed at me. "Don't you understand? This isn't something light. We didn't just get in a little argument and break up. That, you could work out. This? Oh, no. Justin, you cheated on me for almost 2 fucking months. You gave up on me the first time you fucked that nasty slut. Now you get to deal with the consequences. Get the fuck out."

"No." My eyes locked with her, which seemed to only maker her more mad.

She rushed towards me, pushing my chest hard. "Get out! Get out, get out, get out!" She pushed harder with each blow, but she wasn't nearly as strong as I was. "Leave me alone! Go away! I hate you!"

I grabbed her wrists, holding them so she couldn't push anymore. I held her in place as I mushed my lips against hers. My heart instantly raced at the connection of our lips. Goosebumps grew on my skin. There was nothing like Selena that would give me all these feelings.

It wasn't long before I was shoved away from her. "Don't kiss me, you disgusting freak! You've kissed her and touched her and I don't want anything to do with you anymore. If you don't leave, I'm calling security."

"Selena, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to kiss you.. I'm just desperate. I can't lose you, I can't. You're my whole world." I was running out of options of what to do.

I remembered something that would work. I dug my hand into my pocket, pulling out the promise ring I had gotten her for her birthday.

"Selena, look!" I held the ring up for her to see. It was a gold band, real gold, engraved with the words 'Miles apart but always in my heart'. "I swear to god if you give me another chance, I'll do everything in my power to prove to you that you can trust me. I know we're going to be together forever. Please Selena.."

"Oh wow, that ring is lovely.." She looked at it in my hand. She was going to forgive me! This is great.

"Maybe your new girl will like that." She spat at me, before pushing me out of the room and slamming the door in my face.

I stared at the door, realization kicking in that I've actually lost her. I lost my princess forever.
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