Only Room For One

36 - "I'll be fine."

Justin's POV:

Yesterday was the worst day of my life.

Well, that might be a slight exaggeration. It was one of the worst days of my life.

I lost Selena, again.

But it wasn't my fault this time, which hurt worse than it did the first time I lost her.

She'd lied to me. Lied about her and Harry not having done anything sexual together, lied about breaking up with him. God, she probably lied about loving me.

I see how she felt when I'd done this to her, and it sucks. It feels like my heart was pulled out of my chest, stabbed repeatedly, stepped on, the left hung out to dry. I didn't even know how to function properly anymore. I hadn't moved from my bed once I got home last night.

I was a wreck again.

As I laid there, eyes glued to the ceiling, I thought about everything I'd been through. The first breakup, the drugs and alcohol abuse, jail, rehab, the isolation period, and then now. I knew I didn't want to go back to my old ways. I'd gone through so much self help that I didn't want to waste it all. I was a better person, even if she had broken my heart.

To be honest, I'd honestly probably take her back now. Too much time was spent fighting for her and crying over her that I don't want to waste anymore without Selena by my side. But this was a process, and she needed to realize what she'd done.

Knowing Selena, she was really overthinking the situation. She was probably cuddled up in bed, crying into a pillow, thinking about everything she ever did wrong. Which wasn't the wrong thing to do, but she would dramatize this. Make herself seem like the good guy in the picture. And that's why she needed time.

If after everything is said and done, she still wants me back, I'll probably accept and eventually end up marrying her because I just love that girl too much to let her go.

Our problem was we rushed into things too fast. I should have waited until they were broken up to start back up with her. This is partially my fault.

A ringing noise interrupted the conversation in my mind. I glanced down at my phone on the nightstand, the screen lit up with Alfredo's name.

I slowly moved to grab it and answer. "Hey Fredo.." I greeted him with a monotones voice.

"Justin, have you seem the headlines on the internet?! Selena and Harry broke up! This is your chance!" He yelled through the phone with excitement.

I winced as his volume hurt my ears. "Yeah, I know they did.. it's a long story, but it was because of me. Don't ask right now."

"Don't ask? How can I not? What'd you do?!" He questioned. I knew if I didn't answer, he'd bug me until I did.

"Alright, I'll sum it up for you. I came back, me and Selena hooked up again, we started seeing each other everyday and having sex, then Harry walked in yesterday and boom, the break up." I let out a sigh as I finished.

"What the fuck..?" Alfredo's voice was full of confusion. "You've been smashing Selena everyday for almost two months?"

"Alfredo, not the right time. I kinda just lost her again.." I rubbed my eyes, the darkness of my room blurring my vision slightly.

"Dude.. again? Are you okay?"

"I'll be fine, I just need some time to myself." I responded.

"Alright man. I'm here if you need me, you know?"

"Yeah, thanks bro." I tried my best to sound honored, to let him know that his efforts were appreciated.

The call was ended, and so was my day. It may have only been 1 in the afternoon, but I was ready for this day, and the days that followed, to be over with.
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OMG this is terrible I'm sorry it's short but I wanted to get something out for my loves <3

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