Basorexia ϟ hoodings

➣ thirty eight

l u k e

i heard calum received a note or letter from someone yesterday, or the day before. the weird thing is; i got one too.

i have no idea who it is from and what is inside of this letter, but i do hope it's nothing bad.

dear luke,
you do not know me. i need to make that clear. you do not know who this is from. easy. but i shall not give away who it is. it may be calum, michael. perhaps it is ashton. maybe management. you do not know, and will not find out. all i am going to say is stay away from calum. do not go near him! he hates you, and there is nothing you can do about it. suck my ass!
from, none of your fucking business

i sat there in shock, reading over the letter again and again. hopefully that is the only letter this person is going to send me.

but calum...i guess he is right about that. calum does hate me, and there's nothing i can do about it.

it's been a while since i talked to laura. so i decided to facetime her. hopefully she's up for that.

i press on her contact, awaiting her to answer.

soon enough, the 'connecting...' sign showed up, making my stomach drop. i do not know why i felt like this; i just did.

"oh my god!" she squeaked, "luke! baby, you actually decided to call back."

i smiled weakly, nodding my head.

"i thought you hated me, i'm so, so sorry babe!" she apologies.

i purse my lips, cringing at the pet name. it just doesn't feel right anymore. it doesn't fit.

"i don't hate-"

"and then you never called back or sent me any texts, i didn't know if you had moved on or broken up."

i started to get annoyed a little by her rambling, but didn't say anything.

"i was so sad, luke!" she cried, "i didn't know what to do!"

i decided to finally speak up, "what did you do, then?"

she hesitated for a second, before stuttering and tripping over her words, "u-uh...i d-didn't really, um...do any-anything but you know...staying in bed and um, eating-eating ice-cream."

"right..." i was getting fed up with her lies. i honestly can't remember the last time she actually told the truth and didn't lie about anything to me.

all that she does these days is lie to me really. she could be lying about loving me, about wanting to put the effort into saving our relationship.

=

"luke! come on, we gotta get on stage in a few!" ashton shouts at me from the other side of the room. i was trying my best to tie up my shoelaces but due to me shaking, it was giving me an awful hard time.

"hold on, ash. let me do my shoelaces in peace."

"no! hurry up!" ashton ended up running over and tying my shoelaces up himself.

we both ran to our lined up positions and waited for our signals.

first, ashton got out, waving at the cheering and chanting crowd before him.

and soon enough, it was my turn to run on stage and greet our band.

"-we are five seconds of summer-"

=

every now and then on stage, i was notice calum staring at me from his position on stage.

i'd blush, and not realising that happened until after he'd look away.

also, i'd look over at him too.

you could see in his eyes that he was clearly enjoying being up on stage and playing, but there was a hint of joy that you could tell didn't resemble from being up here on stage.

anyhow, calum and i shared the microphones more than we did with michael, however he didn't seem to care.

he had a smirk on his face the whole time.

when amnesia had it's time to play, i could feel the tears welling up in my eyes.

if only i could wake up with amnesia to forget about the stupid little things.

like the way it felt to fight with calum and hear him say "i hate you"

cause im not fine at all.

=

finally, when beside you had it's time to shine, i couldn't keep the tears at bay.

within a minute i was all packed up, i got a ticket for another world, i don't wanna go, i don't wanna go

sudden words are hard to speak, when your thoughts are all i see, "don't ever leave." she said to me

when we both fall asleep, underneath the same sky, to the beat of our hearts at the same time, so close but so far away (can you hear me?)

the tears started to fall out of my eyes, rolling down my cheeks. michael took notice of this, and came over to share the mic.

he tried doing things to cheer me up, but nothing was working.

i missed laura - and before you say anything, the old laura. the one that wasn't so clingy all the time. the one with the bright and bubbly persona. i don't know why she changed when she met my band; i guess she was also trying to compete with other girls too.

she sleeps, alone, my heart wants to come home, i wish i was, i wish i was, beside you

she lies, awake, i'm tryin' to find the words to say, i wish i was, i wish i was, beside you.

+

a.n

so yeah, i rewrote this chapter, so i am sorry if you have to read it again blah blah blah

-deany xoxo