Basorexia ϟ hoodings

➣ fifty five

hey losers, i had trouble writing this chapter i honestly didnt know what to do so i just decided to skip time, nothing happened between calum and luke since the kiss and stuff they've just been awkward around each other and not talking to each other to try and avoid awkward tension :-)

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l u k e

"hey michael!" i say, jumping onto the couch next to him. he's been spending most of his time in the back of the bus playing video games.

we're back on tour now, and i'm excited to play more shows. laura and i haven't contacted each other for a few weeks - and that brings me to calum. he hasn't been talking to me. i guess it's because he wants to avoid any awkward tension from that night where we kissed, but i thought he enjoyed that? plus, i just stayed away from him since i don't want him to always being the one to walk away or stop talking.

maybe cake wasn't meant to be?

"oh, hey luke." michael replies, not daring to take his eyes off the t.v screen.

"laura sent me a message last night. i haven't replied yet but i don't know what to say." i tell him, "okay..." michael says barely interested.

i lick my bottom lip, as i slowly get up and walk away. hopefully ashton will help me.

ashton was lying in his bunk as perusal, scrolling down instagram, or tweeting on twitter...or texting...

"ash?" i say loudly. i noticed he was listening to music.

"oh, yeah?" he takes his headphones off and pauses his song.

"laura texted me. what do i say?" i question, showing him the message, "michael won't help and i can't talk to calum."

"why can't you talk to cal?" ashton asks, completely changing the subject.

"i don't know...i guess it's because he's ben ignoring me. and when i do talk to him, he'd walk away after this short awkward conversation." i explain quietly, not sure where calum was. i think he's in his bunk listening to music. that's what he's always doing...well i guess i never see him much, so i don't know if he's always doing that.

"dude, you know he talks about you like you put the stars in the night sky?" ashtons states, looking at me with wide eyes.

really? oh my god...that's good i guess but i rather him talk to me not about me.

"but thats the problem...i want him to talk to me." i sigh, frowning.

"sorry...i could talk to him?" ashton offers, but i sadly decline. that's not going to change anything anyway.

i walk way and realise that i still haven't replied to laura yet. maybe i should ask calum?

nah. he won't say anything. he likes talking about me not to me so that wont work.

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"thank you guys for coming! honestly i'm having the best time." i shout into the microphone, to the crowd. an eruption of screams echoed around the stadium. i flinched a bit.

"how are you guys?" calum asks, playing with his ear piece. another wave of screams filled the large inclosed area and my ears.

"what about, hows my band?" i ask to nobody, but mainly calum. i look over at him but he's already staring at ashton.

"my band? me like the band!" ashton corrects me, giggling afterwards.

"sorry, sorry." i laugh.

we had a good lead up to our next song, but apparently i ruined it somehow by saying the wrong thing.

"you ruined it." calum states monotonously. he's talking to me...but the tone of his voice worried me. he hates me.

"i'm a ruiner...i ruin things. i'm sorry." i say sadly, but making sure that nobody heard the sadness in my voice and saw the sadness in my face.

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"this next song is about a girl called amnesia!" calum shouts, as we started the guitar riff.

"i wish that i could wake up with amnesia, and forget about the stupid little things," i sing passionately, "like the way it felt to fall asleep next to you, and the memories i never can escape, cause i'm not fine at all."

i felt like calum watched the whole time i sung the chorus, but if i looked over, we could lock eyes and it would be awkward later, or he wasn't watching me at all and i randomly look over at calum, not michael or anyone.

maybe he felt the passion and how much i sung those lyrics from the heart, which made him look over at me? who knows.

after we finished amnesia and the rest of the concert, i grabbed myself a new bottle of water and threw myself onto the couch in the change rooms.

"good work guys! 5 minutes max, then you need to head back onto the bus."

we were about to leave when calum pulled me back and waited until ash and michael left.

"really! it's your fault people are going to be tweeting about us fighting because you decided to make yourself sound genuinely sad and depressed when saying 'i ruin things'" calum shouted.

"maybe because i was! i don't care people are going to tweet about us. if you're worried, don't check twitter for a while!" i argued back.

"i had a good lead up and you ruined it, and when i confronted you about it on stage, that was a joke. everyone knew that." calum defends himself.

"well since you've been acting like a dick towards me and make it seem like you do hate me, well then yeah. i was genuinely sad. if you talked to me and everything was okay, i would've said it differently!" i yell, walking away from his bullshit.

why would he care if people think we're fighting? oh well. just tweet that we aren't. it's not my faut, it's his.

asshole.

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im sorry it took me so long to update

the last part of this chapter was rushed and probably shitty thats bc im leaving to my dads house real soon