Basorexia ϟ hoodings

➣ thirty

dedication: @5sauce_is_lyfe

WATTPAD IS STUPID SOMETIMES WPFSUJDFH

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l u k e

ashton looked terrible. honestly, he has bags under his eyes, and his hair was an absolute mess.

michael didn’t look any different, really. i guess i probably looked the same.

out of all of us, calum looked the best – his hair was surprisingly neat, and he looked as if he hadn’t gotten drunk.

today would obviously be a lazy day – like, of course! It’s a fucking sunday! duh.

after i had breakfast, i made sure i grabbed a bucket before i left because i don’t want to barf on anyone.

i was surprised though, when calum was completely fine.

like...i thought he did get drunk, but it seems as if he didn’t, so i don’t know anymore.

but, i do need info about last night, so that’s what i’ll do now.

“calum.” i call quietly, not wanting my headache to get worse.

at first calum doesn’t reply, but soon i heard a small, cracked voice: “y-yeah?”

 “could you please do me a favour, and tell me about last night? i would love to know!” i plead.

calum looked in deep thought, as i joined him on his bed.

“i would prefer not to.” he states, looking down at his phone.

“but i would like to.”

 he sighs, locking his phone and dropping it onto the bed.

“fine,” he replies. i jump a little in excitement, but wince after, due to my headache, “okay, as soon as we arrived at the party we got some drinks and did some shots, blah, blah, blah. you touched my butt and we started dancing and grinding on each other. long story short, we ended up going home together, hand in hand, to have sex.” he explained.

i wasn’t really shocked when he said we got drunk, and started dancing with each other, but i was right when he said we had sex, so that's something new!

but, i know he's still hiding something – i know it. i can feel it.

like, literally!

no ha not literally hehe.

“anything else?” i question, raising my eyebrows.

 “um, no?” he answers, looking a little unsure.

“come on, tell me.” i pout, hoping it’ll rise my chances for being told what calum isn’t telling me.

“ugh!” he face palms, “fine!”

 i smirk, knowing i had just succeeded trying to get calum to tell me what i needed to know.

“you said some stuff that shocked me.” he says.

“so, tell me what i said.” i rush, really wanting to know what i said.

 “well when we were almost finished...you know, you said that you really liked me, but i took that as a friendly way.

“then you said that you had always loved me, not b-laura. and then after that you said i was good, but i honestly didn't know what to say, whether it was your drunken mind speaking, or your honest words, because they do say: ‘drunken minds speak truthful thoughts.’ or whatever.”

 then, thats where i panicked. i stood up, backing away from calum. i don’t love him! i love laura! calum doesn’t love me like that anyway, so why should it matter to him?

“i-i don’t love you,” i stutter, “i love l-laura.” i leave the room, heading past ashton and michael who were asleep on the couch.

i left the hotel, walking down to a hidden park that no one really goes to. i guess this’ll be my place that i go to whenever i need to think.

there was a small park bench i noticed when i arrived.

i plopped myself down on that, putting my head in my hands.

suddenly, i felt hot tears roll down my cheeks – but why am i crying? i don’t understand how i could be crying.

i guess it's because i said: “i love you” to calum when it wasn’t even true! i love laura!

actually, speaking of laura, we haven’t talked in ages! i wonder what she has been doing back at home – whether she was still upset about the touring thing, or is fine, and having a good time.

i miss her. i really do.

i pull out my phone from my pocket, and start typing a message to laura.

→lauraaaa✿ღ
hey we haven’t communicated for a while. how are you doing? xx
sent 2:56pm

sadly, i waited about half an hour for her reply, but she never sent anything back.

maybe she has moved on? i guess its karma, since i am basically cheating on her with calum – the person she hates the most.

again, i felt the tears slip out of my eyes, when the time hit 5.

i was tired of staring at the iphone screen, awaiting her reply. the boys would be worried, right?

however, i did get messages coming in just now from ashton and michael, but sadly, not calum.

he’s the one i want right now. he knows how to make me happy, just my touching me, or giving me a sweet, warm hug. That’s what i want, and what i need.

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these goals are achieving really quickly wow i’ll be updating like every day!

goal: 45 votes // 36 comments

-deany ツ