Our best mistake // Shawn Mendes Fanfiction

Part 2, chapter 16

POV: Shawn

She lays her body against mine, My hands on her back grab her bra as I am about to take it off, but I just stay here.

-Is everything okay Shawn? She asks, caressing my skin.

I can't take it off... She looks at me sensually, when it suddenly hits me, bringing me back to Earth. The effect of the alcohol fades away instantly as I stare at her straight in the eyes. What the hell am I doing? Tears start streaming down my face. What did I do? What was I about to do?

She is not Madison and she won't ever replace her! I don't care what Maddi's doing right now, I love her, I can't just avenge myself of something I'm not even sure of! I push Laura away and get out of bed straight away.

-Hey! What are you doing? What's wrong?

She tries to hold me back but the sight of her in her underwear makes me suddenly sick .

-Stay away from me! How could you do this? I shout.

-Do what ?

-Drunk me so you could have me in your bed!

-What? No ! That's not...

-Of course it is ! Look at you ! You are not even drunk!

I got her, because it's the truth. She just stays here like an idiot and I quickly put my shirt back on and run out of the room. I run as fast as I can, shoving the people on my way. This time, my tears are the reason of my blurry sight... How... how could I? I don't even want to imagine what would have happened if we had continued... On the dance floor, I see Andrew trying to stop me, but I just continue running. There is only one thing on my mind: Maddi. I need her. I need to see her, or even just to hear her. Maddi. I miss HER. I bang the front door open and run out in the garden, far away so that everybody leaves me alone.

It's cold outside, my hands are freezing and my whole body is shaking uncontrollably. Maddi, Maddi.... My breath is cut and a lump in my throat makes it hard to breathe. I grab my phone and dial Madison's number on FaceTime.

Please answer, please, please please !

-Hello? I hear, in a sleepy voice. Shawn.... it's 3 am...

-Oh Maddi... thank god !

The screen is black, she did not turn on her lights...

-Shawn? Is everything okay ?

-Yeah I... I... needed to hear your voice..

-Are you... drunk ?

She finally lights up her bedroom and I can see her face. She stands up in her bed, looking panicked. Her hair is messy but she still looks gorgeous in her pink pyjamas... and... she is alone in her bed.

-Yeah I am... drunk. Oh Maddi, I am such a mess right now...

My head starts aching and I have to sit down on the grass not to fall.

-Hey love... everything is going to be okay. I wish I could hold you right now...

-I miss you Madison, I miss you so much... I cry. I let it all out. I can't hold it anymore, the feeling of missing her, the mistake I nearly made... This is too much...

-Shawn, don't ruin your life. I know it may be hard, but you can go through it. I'll help you...

-Thank you !

-And... I still have my surprise for you! It's all ready on my shelf ! She says, filming a small cardboard box across the room.

The surprise! I forgot about it!

-What is it ? Can I see it ?

-NO WAY ! I don't want to ruin it! You will have to wait a little...

-Okay...

-Do you want me to sing for you ?

-Yes please...

She gets up and leaves for a second before coming back with her guitar. She ties her hair into a messy bun, revealing her beautiful face that seems to have a bit more colors than the last time I saw her. She is so beautiful, and she is my fiancé... I nearly ruined all this...

« He would not show that he was afraid,

But being and feeling alone was too much to face,

Though everyone said that he was so strong,

What they didn't know is that he could barely carry on

But I know that you will be okay,

So you will not let it get in your way...

Sometimes it all gets a little too much,

But you gotta realize that soon the fog will clear up,

And you don't have to be afraid, because we're all the same,

And we know that sometimes it all gets a little too much... »

-It's beautiful Maddi, thank you...

-You're welcome... I'd do anything for you... Will you be okay ?

-Yes... thank you. I'll call you tomorrow.

-Okay. I need to go to sleep now, sorry, I have an interview early tomorrow morning.

-Oh of course ! Sorry I kept you awake.

-Don't worry. I'm glad I could help you. Please take care of you until we can meet agin. I love you!

-I promise. I love you more !

-Liar...