Our best mistake // Shawn Mendes Fanfiction

Chapter 15

I get up to walk to him, but at that moment, Shirley litterally comes out of nowhere. I stop in the middle of my movement when Shawn turns around from me to her, grabs her waist and kisses her passionately.

Excuse me? What does this mean?
I can't believe my eyes! He was looking at me with so much... desire! I swear he was blushing! And now he kisses her in front of me like nothing happened? The boy in front of me right now can't be the same one who offered me the cassette... I refuse to admit it...

I feel so angry right now. What is he trying to prove? Is he playing with me!? If so, then he won! I give up! I'm tired of all this!
I get up from the bench, full of anger, throw away the cassette across the garden and run back home, tears streaming down my cheeks.

Why is he acting like that? Making me fall in love, then pushing me away! I don't understand... I know he knows I'm falling for him. Connor must have told him the same things he told me. And I thought he could reciprocate the feelings...but obviously he can't!

Once at home, I get in the music room, sit on the ground and cry my heart out for some time. I need to let all of this evacuate, and when I'm done, I grab paper and a pen, sit at the piano and start writing a song.
Composing musics and songs helps me express my messy feelings, and thinking of melodies and rimes structures my mind when I can't figure it out.

I spend the night in the music room, writing, singing, recording, playing the instruments, editing just like I did with my brother when I was back in Paris, but this time I am all alone... I can not tell you for how long I stayed there, all I can say, is that I suddenly wake up. I am lying in front of the computer, my headphones on, and a bright sun filters through the window.

-Well well... it looks like someone had a rough night... Connor says behind me when I wake up.

-What time is it ? I ask, suddenly panicked. I'm going to be late for work !

-It's 10 am.

-Oh no what have I done ?!

-Relax ! It's Saturday ! You don't have work !

-Oh thanks... I was so scared !

-May I ask you what you have done all night in here ?

-I wrote and recorded a song.

-Seriously ? Can I hear it ?

-Sure !

I turn on the speakers and let the music float in the air. I am quite proud of it, it really sounds good !

« Tripping over way too many questions
Wanna clear my head and turn on cruise control
The heart says go, my head says no, perfection
Watching every step to touch my goal

I get mad at myself, bad for myself
Why can't I take care of myself?
Sad for myself, bad for my health
The more I try, the less I get

You keep pushing my limits
Gimme two, three, four minutes
To breathe in, to heal better
Focus on what really matters
Everytime I reach the finish
You keep pushing my, pushing my limits... » (« Limits »by Laura Tesoro but Maddi wrote it in the story - see media)

-Wow Madison this songs is amazing ! Are you going to upload it on YouTube or something ?

-I don't think so. I don't really have a YouTube channel, and it won't go viral anyway...

-Why  wouldn't it ?

-Because I am not famous...

-Did you forget that your housemate is one of Shawn Mendes's best friends ? I can arrange you something. Let me try !

-Okay !

I accept, because I know my song is good, and it is real, so why not give it a try ? Connor takes place at the computer, creates me a good YouTube channel and then I leave him alone as he uploads my song and arranges everything. I hear him give many phone calls, probably to Shawn's crew... He worked on it all afternoon, and I did not open my laptop until the next morning, when Connor called me from across the house.