CHAPTER 46- I want everything to go back to the way it was!!

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                 " And now the day bleeds                               Into Nightfall                       And you are not here                             to get me through it all                       I let my guard down                      A...

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" And now the day bleeds
Into Nightfall
And you are not here
to get me through it all
I let my guard down
And then you pulled the rug
I was getting kinda used to being
someone you loved"

                 " And now the day bleeds                               Into Nightfall                       And you are not here                             to get me through it all                       I let my guard down                      A...

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I was in a very uncomfortable position. My once soft fluffy bed was now hard and rough. Is that even possible for my bed to become this stone-hard overnight? Maybe I just fell down. There was this bright light that clouded my vision. I think someone left the blinds open, the sunlight was sharp and it irritated my eyes even though they were closed.


" Mom, Shut these blinds please" I said in my sleepy state. I didn't even realize that she won't answer to any of my words or call. Slowly as I was coming out of my sleepy state the memories started coming back.


Jacob......cancer......hospital these thoughts kept coming back to me and started sucking the air out of my lungs. Then the worst memory hit me and it was like a thousand stones hit my chest at one time. The lifeless body of J's lying on the bed with the heart monitor off. How could I even sleep when he was asleep forever. How could I relax when he was dead. How could I breathe when I know he won't be breathing anymore. I didn't get up. Didn't open my eyes. I don't want to because if I open my eyes then it would make everything real and I don't want to be anything real right now. I want to think that I'll wake up and he would be there in his car waiting for me outside my home.


"Home"  I never thought that this word will lose it's meaning to me. It's like everything in my life is going away from me and now Jacob too. I can't handle this.


" What time is it?"


I reached towards my pocket to fetch my phone but it isn't there. Shit! I left it with Mason. I started to get up and made my way downstairs towards the main road. This was the secluded area of the town. No one exactly came here so the scope or any hope of finding a taxi here is zero. I started walking towards the main city. I don't have cash on me but I  was hoping that someone would be kind enough to lend me there phone. After walking for some time I saw a gas station. I entered the store there hoping someone would give me their phone.


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