Brave - FanFic CHIM/CHERYL COLE

Part 211

Julie's POV

I wasn't talking or uttering a single word. I was sat in the snow - staring at their gravestones. All my thoughts and emotions being put on display; the tears streaming down my cheeks - screamed vulnerability. It was getting cold now, I was physically shaking - the drugs were slowly drifting away and I was back to my senses.

I bring my knees up pressing them against my chest - wrapping myself up for some sort of warmth. I can feel my bum getting soaked but I didn't budge - I stayed in place. I felt as if I was sat with them, I could feel their love easing itself into my broken soul.

"It's almost Christmas" I whisper, I wish I would have been able to celebrate the Christmas holiday with them - I never got the chance. I was never able to celebrate this festive holiday, and by the looks of it; I wouldn't be celebrating this year as well. The sound of car tires pulling up to the cemetery let me know that they've found me - I knew it wouldn't be long until they noticed my absence. I just needed this moment; I needed it with Jacob and Amanda.

"I love you" My voice cracked, I could feel my lips trembling but not from sadness - I was freezing. I had accepted their death, and I felt a sense of peace settle inside of me. I let out a long puff of air - swirls of exhalation disappearing into the cold crisp winter air. The foot steps were getting closer and closer - the sound of Mam's voice echoes into my ear as she drops to the ground - pulling me into her warm body.

"I was looking for you everywhere" Her voice is thick, her arms are shaking - I knew she was worried about me. I was still upset; she yet again let her temper get the best of her - taking it way too far

"I'm sorry bubba, I'm sorry" She pleads, kissing the side of my face - my eyes still locked on the gravestones. I could almost feel Amanda and Jacob smiling at the scene being played out in front of them - they were finally meeting Mam and seeing what true love was.

"I w-was here" My teeth clatter together, she holds me tighter - forcing me up to my feet. I didn't realize how cold I was until I felt the sore pain in my knees - I glance one last time to the cemetery as she helps me into the car. It was a smile, a smile that I had finally seen Amanda and Jacob happy - I needed that more than anything.

"Olivia you drive" Mam speaks, she settles in the back seat with me - the car heat put on full blast, her lips being placed against my face. I noticed Libby watching us every so often in the mirror - I couldn't find myself to string a sentence together. I felt weak, and down - depressed in someway. All I wanted to do was go back to the house and fall asleep in my own bed.

"I love you.. I'm sorry" Mam would whisper into my ear - it was such a quiet confession, only so I could hear it. She was holding me closer than ever - she never wanted to let me go; and even after everything she had done I still wanted her to hold me and kiss me - just tell me everything would be okay.

We arrive to the house sooner than later and I feel as if my legs aren't working - I'm far too feeble. She senses that, she holds me against her helping me through the house - it's quiet and everyone's eyes are on us; they're all worried. I hated that I've ruined this supposed 'cheery holiday'. Mum comes for me straight away and I pull out of Mam's hold falling straight into her arms - the feeling of love echo's into me; her cuddles always made me feel safe.

"D-Don't let go" I whisper, she walks us away from everyone - the sitting room deserted as my family occupies the front room on the other side of the house. She's cradling me in her lap - whispering gentle words into my ear, kisses being followed. I'm still cold, shivering at the sudden change of temperature

"I thought we said no more?" She asks a while later, my eyes are closed - I'm exhausted, but I don't want to fall asleep. I want to stay awake and feel this embrace for a while longer