Brave - FanFic CHIM/CHERYL COLE

Part 187

Julie's POV

"Mam" I repeated through my tears - I was in complete darkness. I couldn't feel or hear anything, but simply saying 'Mam' was making my nerves calmer

"Mammy" I cried harder, I could now feel my heart pounding fast - thumping loudly against my chest

"P-Please" I sobbed, I was in hysterics - my body had physically gave up and my emotions were getting the best of me

"Julie! This isn't funny anymore!" I heard a stern voice - physically shaking me; my entire body jolting out of shock; my eyes flying open to be met by worried brown orbs

"Mam!" I practically howled, launching myself at her - my body was trembling; I wrapped my arms around her neck - hiding myself in her warm embrace

"What's the matter!?" She held me closer, her hand going to the back of my head stroking me in hopes to calm me down

"P-Please don't leave me.. Please" I cried, my entire body was in hysterics - I've never seen myself like this or ever witnessed myself get to this state. It was scary in some way - needing someone so much, so much it could kill you

"I'm not going anywhere! Baby what's the matter?" I couldn't speak anymore, all I could do was cry and place kisses against her cheek - I didn't believe she was in front of me. I didn't believe she was real. Maybe this was a dream; maybe I was dreaming right now and I just didn't know it

"A-Are you visiting me?" I asked, she looked at me in confusion - completely lost

"You're coming to visit me?" I asked, the tears still running down my cheeks - my chin quivering

"Okay that's it" She tried to untangle me, but that only sent me into louder cries - clinging onto her for dear life

"Please! Y-You can't leave yet! Please!" I cried, I was sobbing my heart out - my cries were turning into loud screams

"Julie! Look at us!" She hissed, sitting us both up - I quickly took my position on her lap; my arms wrapping around her waist - holding on tightly

"J-Just don't leave yet! Y-You just came" I hiccuped

"I-I promise I won't cry anymore! Please don't leave!" I cried, it was all so sudden - one second she was gone and the next second she was here. It was unrealistic.

"Okay.. I'm not going anywhere" She gripped her arms around me - cradling me like a baby. Rocking me back and forth - I wasn't going to fall asleep; I wanted to stay awake, I needed to stay awake

"Talk to me.. Talk to me Mam" My hands clutching to the back of her shirt - if I let go, then she'll be gone

"Do you want to tell us what happened?" She whispered, placing delicate kisses along my temple - there was nothing to talk about

"Tell me, tell me Mam.. Tell me how much you love me" I cried

**

Authors POV

Cheryl was sat speechless looking into her daughters bloodshot eyes - the happy hazel sparklers were now replaced with fear.

"C'mere" Cheryl spoke gently, she spoke to her like a baby - because she was her baby, and she was falling apart in front of her

"You're going to leave?" Julie gulped, she wasn't ready for her Mam to leave her - again.

"I'm not going anywhere" Cheryl was growing terrified of her daughters behavior, she didn't know what to do - or what to say. She was stuck.

"Lay down with us" Cheryl said, Julie took comfort on top of her Mam, Her chin resting on her Mam's chest - never breaking eye contact with Cheryl. She never wanted to blink, because if she did - she would be no more.

"Do you love me Mam?" Julie's voice cracked, her eyes brim with unwashed tears - her Mam's face was a blur; but she was soon able to see clearly as her Mam wiped her tears clean

"The word love isn't enough for us to tell you how much I love you.... You gonna tell us what the matter is?" She needed to hear it - she needed to put her heart at ease. The voices in the back of Cheryl's mind were telling her 'Julie's gone mad'

"You're dead" Came the faint whisper from her daughter - she practically had to read her lips; it was so low that she could have imagined it

"I didn't die" Cheryl reassured her - Julie still didn't believe it. It was too real to just be a dream

"You did, y-you died" She sobbed - Julie didn't want to cry anymore; she wanted to enjoy the moment she was having with her Mam, but the pain was too overwhelming for her to keep locked up inside.

"Look.. I'm right in front of you" Cheryl said, hoisting up her little girl - letting her rest in the crook of her neck - legs and arms tangled up.

"This is a dream" Julie whispered, Cheryl's neck was pooling with her tears - drip after drip leaking from Julie's eyes; falling against her Mam's skin

"We're going to wake up tomorrow and we'll laugh about this" Cheryl said, her hand stroking her daughters back - she could feel Julie slowly falling asleep in her arms

"You're an Angel" Julie's voice was weak - but she wanted to tell her Mam everything she's always wanted to tell her

"Mammy.. Promise you'll visit me again?" She hiccuped, her chest was heaving - she was trying to fight back the sob

"Julie.. I'm not going anywhere"

"Everyone I love always leaves me" Julie couldn't hold the sob in any longer - she held onto her mother; needing to feel her, breathe her. She needed her more than ever - and the thought of her not being real was driving her insane

This was the first time Cheryl didn't know how to tell her daughter that everything would be okay. She just held her and hoped she'd calm down - fall asleep peacefully

"I know I never showed you how much I loved you when you were a-alive" Julie was in hysterics - she was physically shaking in her Mam's arms. Her fists grew tighter with each second - holding on to Cheryl

"I'm alive, I'm alive Julie.. Baby look at us" Cheryl forcefully pulled her daughter out of the crook of her neck - forcing her to meet her worried brown orbs

"Look, I'm right here.. I'm alive sweetheart" Cheryl's chin was trembling - she was on the verge of a breakdown. Her eyes welling up, she was frightened by her daughters words

"N-No you're not.. Y-You're not" Julie is in disbelief, there's no way that her Mam was alive - it was all too real

"Y-You died" She repeated, her eyes were wide - she was fighting the urge to blink; she couldn't blink.

"Listen to us! Are you listening!?" Cheryl snapped, sitting her daughter back up - shaking Julie by her shoulders

"It's time?" Julie whispered - she had definitely gone crazy; her body language was weak, and she had completely given up

"I am right here god damn it! I'm r-right here" Cheryl let the sob escape - letting herself breakdown in front of her broken daughter; Julie didn't react, she was far too exhausted to react

"I'm right here" Cheryl cried, kissing her daughters face urgently - kissing her hard; needing her to believe all these kisses were real, that in fact this wasn't a dream. Julie convinced herself that this was a dream, and she'd be walking up to an empty bed - with her Mam no where in sight

"I'm real" Cheryl's voice squeaked, all the crying had got to her - she took her tired daughter back into her arms; laying her on top of her. She needed to keep her close - she needed to feel her steady breathing, she needed to smell her lavender scented hair. Cheryl had gone mad with her daughter - because the thought of her daughter losing her mind, made her lose her mind.

"If you're not.." Julie yawned, her fingers playing with her Mam's necklaces - the same necklaces Julie bought her. Both of them never leaving her neck - permanently there forever.

"Just know I love you Mam" Julie's eyes began to close slowly - she beat herself mentally for allowing herself to fall asleep. She fell asleep in her Mam's arms - that's all that mattered to her.