Hitman vs Mafia ~Mafia!Jimin X Hitman!Reader~

Chapter 15 - What is Family?

I woke up in an alleyway next to a dumpster. A part of me felt lucky not to be in the dumpster. The other part of me felt like I should be in it. I was utter trash. Not even a few weeks into the hardest job of my life, and I'd made the worst mistake I could.

I was personally invested.

Over ten years of not fucking up, and I'd made the fatal mistake. I'd allowed their sweet words and actions to draw me in. Their smiling faces and genuine thanks gave me something I'd never had. Even the anger and suspicion of Jimin became a game the longer I stayed. Yet, here I was. Sitting in an alleyway. A bruise around my neck from hanging. Barely any feeling in my limbs.

I forced myself up, my arms and legs trembling. Some things scattered from my lap. I looked slowly down, seeing the grocery list, Jin's money, and a single bullet that had my initial in it. I grabbed all of them. I tuck the money and bullet into my pocket, but I keep the list out to look at it. I go to the nearest store, pull my collar up, and go in. I grab the stuff that Jin wrote down and paid. I caught weird glances from when my collar slipped down, but I'd just ignore them and adjust it back up. I walked home, having to walk further than I'd planned. It didn't matter in my head, though. One step after another, I kept walking. It was like time didn't matter. I didn't want to return. Even once I'd arrived and was standing in front, I didn't go in. I looked at it. I stared at it. I watched people go in and out.

Could I look at their faces and not fall into the trap again? That's what it was. A trap. This entire time, they were winding me in their web and waiting to feed. I felt so used. Not just them, but my entire life. I'd always been used. First as a child, then as a hitman, then by BTS. That's why I wanted to leave. That's why I depended on myself. This is why.

Because I'm not strong enough to handle it.

I finally enter the restaurant. I ignored Hoseok's welcome and Yoongi's questions. I just went downstairs. I set the groceries on the kitchen counter with the remaining change. Taehyung came in and said something. I couldn't hear it. I passed him by. Jungkook bumped into me as I was leaving the kitchen. He said something. I don't know what. It was like everything they said was muffled and in another language. I went to my room. A hand laid on my shoulder, so I looked up. Jimin had stopped me for something. I couldn't hear it. I could see his lips moving, but the words sounded like they were underwater. I brush off his hand and go into my room. I lock the door behind me. I hear bangs on it, tries at the door, and some shouting. Again, the words fall upon deaf ears.

I just needed some time. I needed to sort through my priorities. It had always been simple before. Did it need to be difficult now? No. It was as simple as before. It was a job. There were seven targets. They all had backgrounds I didn't know but didn't need to know. I knew their specialties. It'd be easy to end them all. This job could go without a problem. It could. It really could.

But nothing about this was easy.

~~~~~

I didn't even do anything but merely exist. I sat at my desk and stared at the wall. At some point, I'd moved to my bed and was lying down. I didn't sleep, though. I was staring forward, maybe blinking occasionally. I could hear discussion outside of my door but didn't react. I'd only catch occasional things.

"…get (Y/N) out…"

"…too harsh?"

"Why is…"

"Should I…"

"…worth it?"

"…enough to…"

It took a few more minutes for me to realize that I could hear the words clearly again. They didn't go in one ear and out the other. They were naturally muffled by the door, but not by my own ears. I wasn't sure whether I was glad I could hear properly or not.