Arranged Marriages

Saja, Princess of Draconia

Augusts anger frightened me, he threw my book away and for a moment I was afraid he was going to strike me...

"Don't you put words in my mouth, Saja! I never said I didn't want you. I just fought eight sets of royal parents to keep you, don't you ever think I don't want you." He let go of my hands ad turned away. His jaw working and he was blinking hard- as if he had something in his eye.

"Do you know what I did when I was fifteen, Saja? Nothing. I was trained for war but it was abstract to me then." I watched him, trying to understand him, then to my horror August began to cry! My heart gave a painful twist- Rhay cried, he always was upset and sad about something- I couldn't let august be sad! I couldn't help Rhay but I didn't want to make August sad too. His voice startled my thoughts into silence. 

"When I was fifteen I was out running in the woods, hunting, teaching myself new things, discovering my surroundings. Five years later and your fifteen, great. My childhood ended the second I went to my first battle but that was years after I was fifteen. But you...what does everyone expect me to do, take years from your childhood so you can be my wife and rule by my side and bare my children? I can't do that to you! But how do I keep you for myself and not touch you, Saja?" 

I was startled, I hadn't thought about this part.... about what being his wife really meant. I looked at him seriously. He was a good and kind man- I had heard my parents talking about him earlier that morning- Daddy liked him and so did mama, they trusted him. He was a good and honorable man- but was I ready to be his wife? I looked down at the grass. Was I ready to lay with him in his bed? Make love to him? Bare his children and be his queen? I felt my cheeks heat up. I was growing up, I knew that.... I had always had thoughts of this time- but none of them were serious. None of them were like what August had been saying. 

In some kingdoms being fifteen meant still being a child, it didn't in Draconia but I was still young. Was I ready to be his wife? I thought hard about it- looking up into Augusts eyes. Was I ready to share my life with him? A room with him?....a bed with him? I thought I was, He wouldn't hurt me, and I really liked him. C-could I make love to him? Do those kinds of wifely duties? My cheeks felt as if they were on fire. Y-yes, I wouldn't mind doing those kinds of things with August- but only after we were married. I thought I was ready- but did he? I had to make him know, make him understand.....

Pulling at the grass at out feet I exposed the dirt- he had thrown my little book away- and I began to write in the dirt, forming the letters were hard and I scratched it out more then once.

“Do you want me to get your book Saja?” 

I nodded, but doubted my ability to form what my heart was feeling in to words. When he brought my book back, however, I tried. I flew through pages, him reading the entire time I was writing. Memories, feelings, thoughts, emotions- all of it. I didn't want to hide anything from him. I was baring my soul to him in a very real way- I just prayed it didn't scare him.