Chapter Sixteen

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   Having my arms constricted around Derek was about the safest, most comfortable thing imaginable. How could it possibly be wrong to love and be loved? What kind of traumatizing event did a human have to go through to think that two people in love could be such a distaste in their eyes?

   This went on for weeks. After my family had left back to Italy, with my cousin being grounded for the rest of his life, and not to forget that Kate was going to make his life a living hell, Derek and I couldn't even be alone for a minute without someone barging in looking suspicious. Did they really think all kids our age just had countless sex all the time? What kind of childhood did my mom have? It's not like I can get pregnant.

   While on the subject, I never really imagined losing it in the backseat of a car. It was romantic, yet unromantic at the same time. But we both wanted it and where else could we go to do it? At least I would never forget it, because like most first times, it was usually fast and weird, but our first time was with each other and it was . . . amazing.

   Still, it was with Derek, and even though it was really the wrong time since he basically got disowned just minutes before we'd done it, it was still perfect. He had been sweet, gentle, rough, loving, everything that made my pulse burn with happiness. And you can't say happiness without penis.


   When school had started again I was kind of glad. Seeing our parents' demon eyes all the freaking time was getting on our last nerves. And it upset me. My mom was really nice about the whole thing, she supported us and she even had a private conversation with Derek once when Steve had gone out to get some Chinese food.

   He didn't tell me what they talked about, and I didn't ask since I felt like I would be crossing some dangerous road that I shouldn't be. 

   Derek changed. He barely even smiled anymore. He barely whispered a word. His pain was deeper than any of us could see. It made me so angry that I wasn't allowed to comfort him without someone slapping me mentally. I just wanted to love him, not fuck him in front of everyone. Adults were so damn stupid. They were in love once, too. Why couldn't the understand?

   He needed me. And I wanted to be there for him. One time I tried sneaking into his room, let's just say I won't be trying that again. They can see through walls.

   The only thing that kept our spirits up was school. And yeah, ew. School can actually make someone happy?

   It was the only time Derek and I could spend time together. And it was the only time of the day where I'd see his perfect smile. We were away from judgement. Because in school we were innocent. Everyone around us was blind and oblivious to what we had going on. I believed if you saw me looking at Derek, you'd instantly see my heart as if my chest was made out of glass. Glass so clear, yet so fragile. The way I looked at Derek, it wasn't like everyone else when they looked at their friends. All I ever showed when I looked at Derek was pure love.

   And it made my heart melt to see that he did the same in return. I knew by the look in his eyes that he loved me.

   He loved me, I loved him, fuck the world.

   "It's worth it, Derek," I had said one day during lunch, while we sat on the floor of an empty hall, his back pressed against lockers, my shoulder leaning against them so that I was facing him and my legs over his while I stared into his deep blue eyes. We looked like couples.

   "I know," he whispered, leaning his head down till our foreheads touched.

   "He'll come around."

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