Road trip - Chapter Seventeen

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[Finally a happy chapter since you guys deserve it. Please vote/comment!]

(Leo's Point Of View)

   Driving back to my dorms took longer than I hoped. I had to stop at a motel to rest for a few hours before I headed back to the road. Honestly even before, as much as I loved Derek, I hated driving up to see him, which I had done way more many times than he did driving down to see me. But his situation was more understandable. He still worked when I would come to stay with him for the weekend, that was unavoidable.

I bought my motel room from this really cute Korean guy who worked there with his family. I took my keys and scooted away as fast as I could before I had another guy chasing my booty for no reason except I was so damn handsome - and a magnet for gay boys.

It wasn't my fault though! It wasn't like I asked to be endlessly crushed on by every single homosexual I saw. What did they even see in me? I was literal garbage. It didn't matter anyway. Even when I flirted back with everyone, I only ever had interest for one person only.

Before I dove into the suspicious bed, I sat at the foot of it and contemplated for a while. The neon sign outside my room that displayed the motel's name rained through the blinds and touched my face in many artistic ways.

What was I supposed to do about Derek? There was no way in hell either of us expected all of this to happen, especially in such a short time. Two weeks ago we were supposed to go on the adventure that would change our lives. It was supposed to be healing time for both of us. I had so much planned and so many things (that I already have spoken about to him) that I wanted to tell him.

I tried to believe that everything happened for a reason, but sometimes believing that pain was what you deserved made it difficult to keep that belief. And Derek? What was the reason that he went through so much for so many years? What did he do to deserve it? Because even through our issues, Derek was not a bad person. He was a caring man who was often too afraid to show it.

All I did was roll on the bed when I tried to go to sleep. I managed maybe an hour of sleep before time was up and I had to get back in my car. My thoughts were going to keep me up for a while. I was going to have to invest in sleeping pills.

I had no idea what my emotions were doing about Derek. I didn't want to answer his question because I felt like if I had said yes, that I would be allowing all the bad feelings to come back. I wanted Derek to be okay first. I wanted him to be healthy before I put our relationship first. Because in the end, there would be no relationship if he wasn't alive to be apart of it.

He knew I loved him. He knew I supported him. So I gave him enough reassurance to be able to breathe without worrying.

Yeah, he broke up with me. Yeah, it hurt. But I saw how much he regretted it. And from that point on, I believed that the break up was just a mask and it wasn't real. But it was necessary.

Now that Derek accepted his problems and sought out help, I could focus on the next set of drama I had - Nathan.

This was truthfully too much to handle. I wasn't giving up thinking about Derek constantly, but holy shit did I have so much on my plate. My classes were about to start again and my focus level was rapidly declining.

Maybe Derek was right about not ignoring Nathan, but was I going to listen to him? Ha. He wasn't my mom. And even if he were I'd still wouldn't listen. Nathan deserved to be ignored. He let me down at a time I needed him the most.

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