"Did you know that Thot-"
"MY NAME IS THOR!"
"Thot says yeet, Thot says skeet, Thot yells yeet that skeet~"
"Tonyson, I'm about to yeet you."
"Thot wanna yeet me but he gotta beat me."
Thor lifted his hammer and looked at Peter menacingly.
"Thot wanna beat me so he can yeet me but my dad's gonna beat him until he can't move so ha."
Thor shook his head and walked away. "I am not a thot," he whispered.
🥒
Peter was laying on the ceiling like it was normal, just taking a nap.
"Peter, down." Tony commands.
"No. Fuck you, sir."
"LANGUAGE," Stevey yelled, and all was well.
"Shit on a stick!" Peter sang.
"LANGUAGE," Steve sang, ringing the bells.
"u R a LoSeR bItCh, Ha YeEt!"
"LaNgUaGe!" Steve came a runnin' hummin' the language song.
"L"
"A"
"N"
"G"
"U"
"A"
"G"
"E"
"What does that spell? LANGUAGE!"
"You gotta watch yo language, you gotta be nice. Ya language is important, just play nice."
"We don't say the s-word, we don't say the f-word. No, n-no, n-no, no, no. We don't say the d-word, we don't say the b-word."
"Swearing is bad, swearing is a sin. So let's be holy and sing the language song."
"L"
"A"
"N"
"G"
"U"
"A"
"G"
"E"
"Watch your language!"
"Ya know I really wanna yeet myself off a bridge."
"Peter no." Tony said, putting a hand on his sons shoulder.
"Sometimes I feel like I should skeet outta life, ya know?"
"No, Peter. No."
"Have you ever wondered if I could die from an overdose?"
"I'm getting you a therapist."
"Can I just wrap myself in a blanket and suffocate? That seems nice."
"Your first appointment is tomorrow at six."
🥒🥒🥒
"Our blood is actually blue, Mr. Stark."
"I know, Peter. I'm not dumb."
"Are you sure about that?"
"Time travel is possible."
"No it isn't, Peter."
"Mr. Stark, I'm not the dumb one here."
🥒🥒🥒
"People need to stop flirting with my aunt. She is a smart, kind, humble, nice, sweet, caring, loving, amazing, incredible, and overall perfect human. Stop buying her things that is for strippers. Good day."
"Mr. Stark is my father. Stop shipping us together that is weird. STARKER BEGONE."
"Let me just say, fuck you Flash."
"MJ is a spiritual human being, change my mind."
"Ned is a fluffy cuddly bear and one of the best people to ever exist. End of story."
🥒 "oH mEh GoD, iTs A sAlTy CuCuMbEr"
YOU ARE READING
Irondad and Spiderson // One Shots
FanfictionCover by: Queenochic ~I do not own anything Marvel. Nothing here except the ideas are mine~ ~requests closed~ Hello my lovely cucumbers! This is a Irondad one shot book as you can tell by the title :) Most of these stories are mine that I thought u...
