Let me love you. ✔

How To Act

Nova

"Where's he taking you?" Hannah has her head inside the fridge, looking for something that would count as breakfast. I smile at the sight. Nothing has changed the weeks if been living at Matt's.

I take I sip of my tea and Hannah gives up. Broccoli, leftover sushi, and a popsicle won't fill our roaring stomachs. "Wanna go and grab breakfast at Taffers? My treat." That's the least I can do for waking her up each night. Let's hope no one will try to force their opinion on me.

"Aren't you going for a run?"

A run, I haven't taken one in weeks. Not since our trip to London. Yesterday, I picked up dance class again and my muscles are thanking me right now, feeling sore and tight. "No, maybe next week. So you wanna go?" I ask.

"Yeah duh!" Smiling wide at me.

Taffers is packed and we are lucky to find a table at the window. We both ordered scrambled eggs, with cheese and a smoothie.

"You didn't answer my question," Hannah says while we wait for our food.

I shrug and bite on the straw in my smoothie, which is by the way revolving. Never order a smoothie with pumpkin and sweet potatoes. I warned y'all.

I have no clue what we will be doing. If it's gonna be awkward. If he expects us to act normal. Do I want him to act normal? It's all so complicated and double.

Hannah takes in my behavior. "What if she is... you know and he is.... you know? She asks it carefully, afraid to rub me in the wrong way.

"I asked myself that question more than a hundred times." I pause when a young waiter serves our eggs with a big smile and I try to return an equal one, failing hard. "I guess there is only one option, break up." My appetite leaves as fast as the words my mouth.

Hannah reaches out and squeezes my hand. "I'm sorry." Her eyes show she means it. "Nothing is sure you know. Maybe she is lying and saying things because she is desperate? Rumors say the two of you are trying, maybe she feels like this is her last straw to stop you and Matt from becoming... a family?"

Rumors, I hate them. Only they're not wrong this time. Hannah stares at me. Shit, I never told her that Matt and I are trying....well, not at the moment. How fucked up would that be? He would become a daddy two times this year. If I didn't lose my appetite already, this would have done it.

"It wasn't a rumor, Hannah. We aren't right now, but we did try before..." I say, feeling the guilt crawl in my stomach.

She scrunches her eyebrows and asks, "Before he told you she could be carrying his child too?! " Her jaw twitches. "I don't get you, you wanted to take things slow and here you are, telling me you're trying to get knocked up with a man who maybe or maybe not cheated on you. Why didn't you tell me? I believed it was a rumor, trusting that you would tell me such big news."

I feel bad I didn't tell her and the hurt look on her face makes it worse."Hannah, I'm sorry. I didn't think about telling you because... because.." I don't even have a reason. Do you need to tell when you are trying? I thought you tell people when he actually hit the bullseye. A knock at the window stirs us both. Dallas and Jaimy, did they know that we would be here?

I glance at Hannah and she holds her hands up, saying, it wasn't me.  I want to make sure Hannah and I are good before they make it through the crowded place. "I am sorry Hannah. I had too much on my mind and with the news Alita dropped, it slipped. It doesn't even matter anymore, though."

My last words cut right through me and I think also through her. Her expression changes and she squeezes my hand again. "Don't worry about it, it's already forgotten. Promise me that you will be careful and next time, tell me."