Let me love you. ✔

The Cold Shoulder

Nova

It's been a couple of rough days and nights. Dallas has built up a wall. We do our assignments the best we can and only communicate if he has to. I hoped he would be glad that I came back to work. It's a real slap in the face that he doesn't.

Hannah says she likes it that I'm back. I can't help but think if she knew how badly my nightmares have increased, she wouldn't say it again. I wake her up every night, sometimes twice. The dark circles under her eyes become more noticeable with each night she has to shake me awake.

Matt texted me every day. His approach is careful, not pushy in the slighted way. I miss him. So much. I have to push that feeling away because if I give in to it, there is no way I can keep the distance I need to make good decisions.

His mother called me yesterday. It took me a minute to realize who I was talking to. She sounded really upset. Matt had regular contact with her about the baby bomb news and after I left his house he's constantly calling her. I think we talked for over an hour and I felt a lot better after it.

It's natural for her to worry about her child. It's sweet that she is thinking about me too. We talked about how things are going in London. That Rose gave birth to a healthy little boy and they named him Asher. How I'm dealing with the gossip train Dean has caused. If I'm still going to attend the meeting with the magazine. Some small talk and eventually about the parasite called Alita.

She managed to make me see things in a different way. In Matt his way and hers. I would have peed my pants with laughter if you had told me twelve weeks ago she and I would have such a civil conversation. I understand why Matt talks so much with her. She is a very good listener and thinks of solutions, not problems.

She praised me for putting Alita on the block. Forcing her to take a paternity test by a doctor of my choice. She shares my thought that there is a possibility she isn't pregnant at all. That, would I say was a real surprise. I guess it's no longer team Alita. Even though she is wearing clothes a bit baggy for her frame, nothing shows. I have the feeling if she is indeed carrying Matt's child team Alita will be in no time on the highest-ranking again.

I hope Matt and I can work this out. He is taking care of the flight and hotel and I made the appointment for the test. We're going to send everything to the best DNA lab and the results will be on the second day. Everything should be clear in less than three weeks. Relief and fear spreading more and more through me knowing she will show up with two options. Destroy mine or her life.

*

Another day in paradise. I think to myself stepping into the elevator, holding two cups of Starbucks. With everything on my mind. Matt, Alita and don't forget Dean, I hope the warm beverage can crack a little of Dallas ice-cold shell. Hannah said she knows why he is acting this way, she won't tell me what it is, though. That's Dallas his choice to tell or not. grrr. Unbelievable that now she decides it's time to keep secrets.

De doors slide open and I take in a deep breath, preparing myself to get to the bottom. He's sitting with his back to me, headphones on. Ready to ignore me for the fifth day.

I hold the cup in front of his face, knowing he hasn't seen me coming. He tries to take it without looking at me. Ain't gonna happen Dallas. I hold a firm grip and wait. His eyes focus back on his screen and let the cup hanging in the air. Great, not the reaction I was counting on. Frustrated, I place it in front of him. I'm not done yet, but throwing away perfectly good coffee is a sin.

It's almost lunchtime and he hasn't said a single word. My phone vibrates in my pocket, taking my mind off Dallas's behavior. A warm feeling spreads through me when I read it.