Let me love you. ✔

21 Real Love

Mature content in this chapter. You are welcome or warned, it's your choice.

Matt

Her eyes are the size of saucers after my declaration. She's staring at me as if I told her I want to marry her right away and have a rugby team of kids. Her mouth opens and closes a few times and nothing comes out.

Come on Nova, I only told you I love you, don't freak on me.

"You alright?" stroking her cheek with my thumb.

"You... You love me?"

I can't suppress a grin hearing the astonishment in her voice. "Yes, I love you."

"Why?"

"Why?" I laugh.

She nods yes.

"You stole my heart the first moment I laid my eyes on you, love." and it's true. My whole being was attracted to her that evening. So badly, that it made me unable to thinks straight.

I take her back in my embrace, hugging her against me, afraid she might run with my next declaration. "Nova, you're the only one that ever made me feel this way. You're like a drug I can't overdose on. I crave your presence and touch all day and night. I'm hurting when you aren't by my side. I admire the love you carry in your heart, the strength, and how beautiful you are without even knowing it. So yes, I love you. I can't help myself when it comes to you. I love you with every fiber in my body."

Her body trembles and feels heavy leaning against mine. I think it's a good decision to hold her. Yet, a weight would fell off me if she finally would say something. I know she won't tell me she loves me, but a reaction would be nice.

Only don't say thank you, Nova, that would be a knife in the heart.

"Please, Nova. Say something," I whisper against the top of her head.

"You're crazy."

"About you, yes."

She sniggers through a snort. "Such a smooth talker."

I take her face in my hands and look into her watery eyes. She has a little smile stretched on her lips and it slowly faints as she says, "It doesn't matter if you love me. You're a mum's boy. You told me yourself and without your mom liking me and preferring Alita, this is doomed. Eventually, you will be forced to choose between me and your mom and I know I'm the one who will end up hurting."

Holding her face, I see the turmoil in her expression. All her insecurities come up in the blink of an eye.

This is not happening, not when I just told her I love her. "Did you not just hear me confess my love towards you?"

She wriggles herself out of my hands and tries to move away from me. I grab her firmly around the waist and her eyes become cold like a winter storm. I know that look. It's the same one she gave me when I came unannounced to her house. Her demons are clouding her thoughts and there is no way to find out what she's thinking.

Her tone of voice is even colder than the look in her eyes. "I think you better take that picture off your Instagram. You go make your mom happy and go back to Alita and I go back to my normal life like nothing ever happened. That way everyone is happy."

Breathe, Matt. Breathe! Her demons are testing you.

I am torn between letting her go and clinging on to her like a leech. With her stubbornness, I'm afraid she might not find her way back to me. And the thing is, the thought of losing her makes me miserable.

"I'm not letting you go, Nova!"

I'm surprised by the desperateness in my voice. It's ridiculous to act this way about a woman. A thirty-three-year-old man clinging as if his life depends on it. But for a reason, I'm willing to if that's what it takes to make her stay.