Let me love you. ✔

No Sleep

Matt

I don't understand why the woman sleeping in my arms is haunted. She doesn't deserve the ghosts that disturb her nights. And surely, she doesn't deserve the shit that Dean is spreading about her. I wish I could put his ass behind bars and take Nova as far away as possible from all this.

Her body jerks and she draws her eyebrows in a deep v shape. Watching the frown alone gives me a mild headache. I try to rub it away with my thumb, knowing she's at the beginning of a nightmare.

They were almost gone, the nightmares. Normally, she would wake me up kicking and screaming. Sometimes she even claws. They increased after her encounter with Dean and got even worse after reading the article. She became a nervous wreck with her nights broken. Her manager forced her to take time off and now she's blaming herself that Dallas has to work for two.

She is good at that, blaming herself for everything that goes wrong in the lives of the people she loves. This past week I watched this beautiful woman turn into a mess. She is afraid to go to sleep because that's the only place I can't protect her from her villains.

I promised I would even protect her there, hoping it will give her some rest. Rest she needs to survive her self-destructing mind. I watched her every night since the day I made that promise. I became to recognize the slightest movements in her face and body that announce the arrival of a nightmare.

Sometimes, they're easy to spot like tonight, frowning deep.  Most of the time they're not and I hate it when I miss them and she starts screaming. The sound rips straight through my heart and every time I wish I could make them go away.

Her hands grip the back of my shirt and I pull her closer to my chest, wrapping my leg around hers, avoiding her to hurt herself. The frown comes back and I know rubbing it away won't work anymore. I have to wake her before it infiltrates her mind to the point of complete panic.

She whimpers and tears run down her face. Her body stays surprisingly still and I wonder what's happening in her mind. It's not the usual nightmare she has where Dean is throwing her from wall to wall without her losing consciousness. Hearing and feeling the bones snap with each hit.

"Sweetheart, wake up," I whisper into her ear and rub her arm with my hand. Her bloodshot eyes meet mine and her hands grab her stomach, letting out a devastating sob. She pushes her frail body against mine and she let her tears run free.

"Matt." She sobs and I need to push back the tears building up behind my eyes. Both of us crying won't help.

I kiss the top of her head "What's wrong babe, what did you dream."

Her voice breaks and I can't make out what she is saying. "Shh babe, it's over. It was just a dream, I'm here. Please calm down."

Her fist jerk at the front of my shirt, crying uncontrollably against my chest. I try everything to comfort her. Talking to her, kissing her forehead, rubbing her back, cuddling her, nothing works. I'm out of ideas and becoming desperate.

Her cries woke up the dogs, scratching their paws against the bedroom door. Koda begins to bark when I don't let them in and leave me with no other choice but open the door.

Koda jumps on the bed, while Bear looks at me as if he saw water burn. He is just as confused as I am. Water, that's a good idea I think.

I send Koda away when I return, I don't want them in bed. I'm sure she was trying to comfort Nova. Although, I don't even think she noticed Koda laying against her.

She looks exhausted. Her green eyes lost their spark and I notice how her hipbones are more visible. She lost weight for my premiere and didn't put it back on. She knows I didn't like it, that I love the curves on her body. She keeps on losing weight and it looks like she is dropping a pound a day now.