the book shop > j.l < MID EDIT

twelve

john
talking to penelope seemed to happen without his own permission. his feelings flowing out of his mouth about his mother's death before he could comprehend his own actions. but he felt okay with it. she understood him, truly.

her hand grabbing onto his took him completely by surprise, his thumb stroking the back of hers, he stared perhaps too long at them. they looked right together intertwined, hers being small and smooth, and his being big and rough from the fights he'd gotten into previously combined with the endless guitar playing he partakes in.

"will i see you again?" after saying this he knew he was in trouble. spending only one evening with the girl left him wanting more. but oddly he felt an overwhelming calmness, she made him want to stop pretending to be happy with everything, to be completely unapologetically himself.

the kiss she placed on his cheek was so gentle that it left him longing for more. the explosion of butterflies in his stomach were undeniable. he closed his eyes for the few seconds her lips were on him, wanting to savour the feeling. she pulled away much too quickly for johns liking.

after her leaving he stood for a moment not moving, placing a hand on his face where she had just kissed him, desperately wanting to relive the memory.

he didn't know what was coming over him, but all he knew was that he was going to see her again. without a doubt.

sunday 12th july

"john she's something else honestly," paul droned on for the millionth time in johns ear. paul and charlotte had spoke the day away on the telephone the previous day, after she'd finished work she called him and since that conversation, with no exaggeration on johns part, paul had not shut up about how she was 'something else'.

"paul mate are you ever going to shut up about her? you've spoke to her twice?" john quizzed getting fed up of the headache paul's voice had began giving him.

"oh you're one to talk lennon, you're thinking the same things about penelope so don't even start that with me," paul joked.

they both sat on the floor in johns bedroom jotting down song lyric ideas.

john rolled his eyes not having the effort to argue with paul, but also not wanting to incriminate himself for the non-stop thinking he'd done of penelope.

"i'm going out with her tomorrow," paul smirked,

"and you're telling me this because?" john said finally getting annoyed.

"i'm telling you because johnny, i'm your friend and your best interest is always at heart," he put a hand on his chest to exaggerate his words, "i found out that penelope will be at work tomorrow, like all day, and it also happens to be her birthday."

johns ears pricked up at the mention of her name, peeking over the top of his notebook to observe paul paying closer attention now. paul was smirking watching his friend go giddy over a girl.

quickly looking away john brushed off his comment pretending it didn't make him want to see her.

"you're telling me this why?"

"i just thought it'd be a nice piece of information for you to delve into," paul knew john was acting tough but he knew his heart was melting really. "look john, i won't tell the other lads if you're worried that they'll embarrass you or whatever. but if you're even the slightest bit interested in her, which i know you are, i think you should at least give it a try."

paul smiled sympathetically at john. john put his pencil down for a moment before looking up at paul and offering him a sincere, small, but still sincere smile.

"there's something about her paul, i don't know what it is but i feel like i can't distance myself from her. she invades my thoughts all the time," john put his notebook down properly and pulled a cigarette out of his pocket. lighting it, he inhaled and carried on, "she has these eyes that make me never want to look away, and she doesn't treat me like an animal or like an object." he shook his head laughing at how whipped he sounded, "god what am i, a girl."

paul laughed alongside him, "it's about time john, in seriousness, she could be what you need. i think it's no secret to say you definitely haven't been yourself for a while, and friday, seeing you talk to her was the first time i've seen you smile genuinely in months."

john nodded his head.

"i'll go. tomorrow i'll see her, but don't tell the lads, because if this just turns to shit, and with my luck it will, they'll turn it into a joke and i won't be able to have that."

"you mean pete will. i think we should get a new drummer," changing the conversation paul and john exchanged ideas on what to do about pete.