Finding Home (The Affair Series Book 3)

Long Overdue

"Ok." 

"You know when you were little girl I took advantage of you love."

"How so?" Callie asked confused.

"MM in many ways. I took advantage of your affection and of your admiration for me and how you forgave me when I was shitty to you. To be honest love I just didn't know what to do with it honey. I never had someone love me the way you did and looking back I wish I held onto it more and appreciated it more. I know you got the shit and I know I was better with Jude at your expense. And I'm sorry for that. I am love."

"I know. I know you're sorry and I forgive you." Callie admitted as the two made eye contact and Stef wasn't sure what to say. She really had been taken aback by all of it and the fact that Callie just forgave her. That was something she did not expect at all. "When I moved to Boston I still hated you. Alot. After awhile you know it just consumes you. And you feel like you are working so hard in other areas, and trying to get well in so many other areas. And you do. But then you are still not dealing with a major part. I just couldn't deal with it or see you any other way or forgive you for splitting up and ruining the family that I loved. I know it wasn't perfect but I loved you and Di as my moms. I did and when that was gone and you left I didn't know what to do. Maybe I was little but I understood that I lost the two most important people in life." With her voice begging to crack tears were running down her face as well as Stef's face. The blonde wanted to so badly hold her daughter's hand but she was unsure of how Callie would react.

"I know baby. I know it was hard for you and I'm so sorry. I really am."

"I know. I guess in the beginning I could only think of the shitty things and I was so angry with you. For leaving us, for hurting Jude, I just didn't want to feel anything for you and I didn't believe anything that you said because you just kept hurting me. After awhile I just didn't care about myself, or anything anymore. You know when I was messing up myself. I just blamed you. And I didn't want to love you."

"I know love."

"When I moved in with Diane I really tried to forget about you. Especially by changing my name. It worked for a little bit I guess. But you can't ever really forget. Is that how you felt about your mother?"

"Sharon oh yeah. I tried to forget for years that she even existed. But it always came back with a vengeance. Ha considering how amazing she was."

"Jude said that she was really terrible to you. That she cut your hair off and hit you with dog chains and stuff. That she moved you all over and told you your aunt was dead. That she stole from you. Is that all true?"

"Yeah babe it is."

"And you forgave her?"

"I did. It wasn't easy and it took me a long time but I did. I mean I'll never understand it or her but I did. Couldn't hold onto it. Ya know?"

"Yeah. I'm sorry she was so awful to you."

"It's ok baby." The blonde said now grabbing her daughter's hand as Callie actually held it back for the first time in years. "And I'm sorry I was so awful to you."

"You never treated me that bad."

"How did I treat you baby? Tell me love."

"I don't know I just always felt like I was a bother. That you never wanted me sometimes. That you hated me and were angry with me. I know you spanked me because I had a mouth but you never abused me or anything. I know I was fresh."

"Yes you had a mouth but you were never a bother, I always wanted you, you were not a mistake and I wasn't angry with you. I was angry with myself for fucking up, for mimicking some of my mothers behavior and for not being the mother I wanted to be to you. It had nothing to do with you Cal and never did. I'm sorry I made you feel like it was for most of your life."