Finding Home (The Affair Series Book 3)

One Memory

STEF POV

"I really don't want either of them missing school Lena."

"Babe relax. It's a couple of weeks and Jude's teachers will email his work and Frankies classes don't start up until January again. Plus I can help him while we are on the road. It will be fine."

"I guess." I said throwing a shirt in my small luggage that Lena and I were sharing. After talking to her about the trip and writing down all the states I lived in the process was definitely emotional. Realizing I most likely missed a few states Lena said it would most likely come back to me as we would start with Nevada first and if I felt ok we would drive to Michigan. Maybe it was that state that I associated the most pain with but Nevada was not far behind it for it had its own set of baggage and I lived there the longest. It was there I met and fell in love with Diane, it was there I had sex for the first time, it was there where I had Frankie, it was there I escaped to after I wasn't allowed to see my kids anymore. The more I thought about it the more it sounded like a bad idea as I glanced out the window of my apartment thinking of my life in Michigan. My life with my mother and my aunt.

"You ok babe?" I soon heard Lena ask.

"Yeah love. Just thinking."

"About?"

"The last thing I really want to do is clean out my mother's shit. It's just like her to leave a fucking mess behind. I mean you gotta wonder if she ever lived one single day where she wasn't fucking up or she was semi normal."

"Well do you remember anything? Did you ever have a normal day with her? Where she was kind?"

"No. She didn't know that word I think it was foreign to her. Must suck to be that way. You know always running, always needing a man, always needing to do a scam to survive. She didn't know any other way to live and if she did I never saw it. Ya know I tried to comfort her once. Maybe more  when some guy broke her heart which was always because there wasn't anyone she didn't sleep with. And one time this guy tried to kill her."

"What?"

"Yeah. We were already living in Nevada and it was some postal worker. I really think he was an ex con. And I heard them fighting while I was outside because she always kicked me out so she could fuck. And I was you know hanging out on top of the trailer smoking. I mean it wasn't unsual for men to kick her ass that's just what they did but this guy, Marvin, yeah that was his name he was shit. He was shit and he would beat the shit out of my mother. And she let him." I said now remembering him which I had tried to block out for so long.

"Oh baby. I'm sorry."She said as I felt her hand slide into mine.

"Yeah. One thing she never did was leave these men alone with me. But that night I, I couldn't take it anymore because it sounded like she was screaming for her life. And she was because she screamed my  name. She was calling me for help Lena."

FLASHBACK

"Stefanie! Stefanie help! Please help me!" I suddenly heard from on top of the trailer as I climbed down and put out my cigarette. It was unlike my mother to call me like this and to ask for my help. Never had she ever before as I busted into the trailer seeing Marvin beating her in the head with the phone. All I could do was take the chair and hit his back with it as he fell off of her and I ran to my mother.

"Mama you ok? You ok?" I asked seeing the blood drip down the side of her face as she was unable to answer.

"You little bitch! You little fucking cunt!" He growled at me as he came towards us and I got out the way grabbing the chair again and hitting him with it. But he was quick overtook me and soon began to hit my mother again. "You let that little bitch of your daughter hit me! No respect! None!"

"Get off of her! Leave my mama alone!" I yelled as he turned around and started to hit me and pushed me so hard against the wall punching me in the stomach.

"You shut up! I'll fuck you up just like I'll do to you tramp mother!" He growled as I fought my hardest but he had me pinned to the wall.

"Get the fuck off me!Get off me mother fucker!" Kicking and screaming  I suddenly saw my mother hit him with the chair.

"Get off my daughter. Get off of her you bastard!" She yelled as he turned around his face covered in blood and punched her in the face. It was then I grabbed the gun my mother had hidden for robbers from the dresser as my young 10 year old hands held it tight.

"Get off of her before I fucking shoot you! I will do it!" I yelled as he got up off of her looking at me and smirking.

"You little shit. You won't do it."

"No?" I said firing off a bullet into the floor.

"Crazy bitch. You are just as crazy as your mother!" He spout out as I now stood in front of my mother protecting her. 

"Get out. Get out now. I swear if you don't I will kill you. I will kill you and not give it a second thought! Don't test me!"

"You know I think you are crazy enough to do it you little shit! Don't call me up again Sharon begging to get fucked or for to take out. Fucking tramp."

"Get out!" I yelled firing another bullet into the floor as he left. He left as my mother carefully sat on the the couch her face bleeding like crazy. Worried he would return I put a chair under the front door and cleaned my mother's face up as she remained silent.

"This might sting mama." I said wiping her face with alcohol very gently as she flinched a bit but grabbed my hand looking into my eyes.

"Thank you. You're a tough one."

"It's ok. As long as your ok mama."

It was a memory I had forgotten as I held my mother close to me all night and comforted her. Something she never knew how to return.

FLASHBACK ENDS

"Nothing changed after that night. Not really almost like it was depleted from her brain. Not that I expected it too but I couldn't stand there and let her get hurt. Ya know?"

"Of course. She never allowed you to be a kid.

"I know but I loved her and maybe she did love me. You know in her own way. Even if she lied, even if she beat the crap out of me, maybe she did. But it wasn't in the way that you love me, or my aunt or my babies." I said looking to her and smiling. "And maybe that's something I gotta accept to continue to move on. I can't keep this anger inside of me forever and I can't be angry at my aunt forever."

"Do you want to call her? Before we leave?"

"I'll think about it. I just hope she is not angry with me."

"Baby she is not. She loves you and understands. I believe that."

"Maybe. Listen I'll see if the babies are good on packing."

"Ok honey." She said as I felt her softly squeeze my hand and I gently pecked her lips. "I love you baby."

"I love you too beautiful." Winking at her I walked off feeling my heart race for Lena did that to me everytime. Every single time as I knew I needed to call my aunt. "Come on babies lets finish packing!"
---------

So they both want to talk to each other.