Finding Home (The Affair Series Book 3)

Trailer Nights

STEF POV

Popping my eyes open I had no idea where the fuck I was. None at all as I felt someone pressed against me and someone else holding my hand rather tightly. Realizing Frankie was the one pressed with her nose in my arm and Lena's hand was in mine I was grateful not to be alone although I was nervous and sweating my ass off.  It was almost like I couldn't breathe and had not been able to for hours. Why on earth did I pick to sleep in the living room?Not that any other room in this trailer would be any better because it wouldn't. Not in the least as I turned my head and softly kissed the top of Frankie's head and squeezed Lena's hand a little tighter. Hearing my son snore a bit I carefully slide down the air mattress hoping not to wake any of them because I just needed some air, desperately.

"Mama you ok?" I heard Frankie whisper.

"I'm fine sweetness. Go back to sleep my love. Mama is just getting air."

"Ok." She said in a sleepy tone and falling right back asleep on my pillow.

Quietly sliding my slippers on I placed a soft kiss on Lena's cheek as I headed outside. Fortunately I didn't wake anyone despite the squeaky screen door which had did me in many times as a teen and when I tried to sneak out to see Diane or Glen. Mostly it was Diane and Glen was really someone I just messed around with when she had her boyfriend out of boredom. It was a night like this when I couldn't sleep and would meet up with him as as I looked down the road to see the familiar path that I would run down. Usually he  picked me up a few blocks down so from the trailer park so that Sharon wouldn't see.  Mostly we drank in his car that his parents bought him, smoked weed and fucked in his back seat.  Fucking him felt good but not as good as it was with Diane. Never and I didn't really know much about my sexuality or much about sex even at 16. Sure Shanice had told me about using condoms and Diane and I had been intimate way before I had with Glen. But with him I never used any protection  and he insisted that it would be fine and he would just pull out.  Half the time he didn't so it was really no surprise when I ended up pregnant.

FLASHBACK

"Stefanie I want this shit cleaned up! I ain't coming back to no mess girl!" I heard my mother screaming at me while I was in the bathroom carefully peeing on the pregnancy stick that I had stolen. I had missed my period twice already and was throwing up everytime I ate. The morning seemed to be the worst, my boobs had grown a bit and my shorts were a little tighter. To say I was fucking freaking out was an understatement.

"Sure ma!"

"What you doing in there girl?! Better not be smoking up my cigarettes!"

"Just washing up ma and using the bathroom. Ate something bad." 

"Told you about eating that Mexican shit! I told you! I'll be back late so don't wait up. And do what the fuck I ask and I don't want no boys in here. You here me girl?"

"Ok mama!" I said as I heard the trailer door slam and the car pull away. Sitting on the edge of the dirty bathtub it was the longest two minutes of my life as I was too scared and too terrified to look at the stick. What would I do? What would I do if I was pregnant? HOw would I take care of a baby? I didn't have no money, I barely went to school. I had no job or nothing. Not to mention that Mama would kill me that's for sure especially if it looked like Glen. That much I knew as I looked to my watch seeing that two minutes had gone by but I still couldn't look at it as another wave of nausea came over me. Realizing there was no way I could do this alone, no way at all I grabbed the stick and hid it under the couch and ran to Diane's trailer. I could only hope that she was home and not out with her boyfriend as I knocked three times on her window. Seeing her move the curtain back and peek her head out she smiled at me.