Finding Home (The Affair Series Book 3)

Up On The Roof

STEF POV

"So you use to sit up here with Diane? Jude asked as he sat beside me on top of my mother's trailer as the night had grown rather chilly and I gave him my sweatshirt to put on. If there was anyone I loved talking with it was him for my son was so insightful almost like a wise old man at times. Sometimes it was hard to believe he was so young and that he came out of me for he did not possess one wreckless bone in his body, he was calm, focused and forgiving. Yes Frankie possessed many of those qualities but I was learning she could be just as reckless as me and Callie. That was something I was trying so hard to nip in the bud but it could be rather difficult since it seemed hard for her to talk to me. I did notice at times she spoke with Lena before me and was wondering if I intimated her to some extent. Or if she was afraid of me. That was the last thing I wanted but I would try to be more patient with her as time went on. 

"We did love. Neither of us had any money ever so it was nice to be able to do that. Saw a ton of movies I mean with no sound but it was ok. We learned how to make the best of it always." I smiled holding him closer as he looked up at me. "That road down there see it with the seven eleven?"

"Yeah."

"We use to ride our bike down there. I found it in a dumpster and fixed it up. It was damm near rusted to death but we made use of it. I also got Diane a fancy ring out of the gumball machines. Was rather proud of myself."  I laughed as Jude smiled wide at me. 

"That's really cool mom."

"Yeah, I was pretty resourceful I guess. You know made do with what we had. You learned how to make something out of nothing."

"Do you miss her?"

"Miss who love?" I asked stroking his soft brown hair that I adored along with his cute face.

"Diane."

"Oh. Well I miss her as my friend honey and the times we had. We had many of them growing up here despite how crappy it could be at times. She was a good friend and different people come into your life for a reason. You know? And sometimes it's easy to get sad about the times you had or the memories from them. Or even the person you were."

"But you guys still talk."

"From time to time babe. About Callie."

"Do you think she misses you?"

"Who sweetheart?"

"Diane and Callie?"

"Ha I don't know honey. I guess I'd have to ask Diane but knowing her I'm sure she does. You know misses our friendship as well and some of the times we had. But your sister I don't know honey. I'm not sure love but I'm pretty sure she misses you my boy." 

 "I've just been thinking I guess.  Since Callie might be going to live with her in Boston I was just wondering if it was weird for you?"

"No love its not. I'm glad your sister has Diane. She loves Callie just as much as I do and I know she will look out for her and guide her in the right direction. That much I know. And I know you will miss her and Diane said you can visit anytime."

"Really?"

"Of course love. You know she's the one who really taught you how to walk. And you called her mama first." I smiled.

"Oh. I'm sorry."

"Why are you sorry? You loved her baby and she took care of you. She really did so don't you be sorry." Winking at him a look of concern fell over his face.

"I guess I feel bad I didn't call you that first."

"Ahh my love don't be sorry about that. You eventually called me Mama and you had two Mama's at the time. Nothing to be sorry about and I knew you loved me. Do not stress that honey, besides I found it very sweet."