Killed by Cancer

Chapter 60

'I still remember how we started talking,' - Unknown.

***

My eyes opened widely. I saw the familiar five stars on the ceiling of my room and that comforted me slightly. I let out a breath. I then gasped as everything that happened came back to me and it was as if I was hit by a brick wall.

The sadness came. The unbearable sadness. I sat up and Ryan was to my side.

"It's okay," he whispered as he massaged my hand.

I took off the oxygen mask and saw him jilt upwards. I grabbed the tubes from my bag and replaced it with them.

"Alexa, I need you to promise me something," he said.

I looked at him and nodded.

"I need you to promise me that you won't do that again, neither of us can bare to lose you already," he said.

I nodded.

"Okay good," he said.

He kissed me on my head.

"You want to come down for some lunch?" He asked.

I shook my head. I wasn't in the mood for food.

"The doctor's arranged for a therapist to come over later to talk to you, I thought I'd let you know," he said.

I shrugged my shoulders. Ryan left the room and Mum came in shortly after.

"I think Ryan's told you but the therapist is coming over later, you need to talk to him or her because otherwise the doctor is going to make you stay in hospital because you tried to kill yourself honey, I don't want you trapped in a room for the rest of your life so it's really important that you speak to him, okay?" She asked.

"Okay," I said. It was the first time I spoke.

She kissed me and left me alone.

I still had the sad feeling inside. I loved him so much. And now he's gone. I'm never going to see him again and that hurt a lot.

There was a knock on my door and Mum was there with this man. The man smiled at me and sat down on the chair in my room.

"Alexa, this is Ben," Mum said.

"Hi," Ben said.

"Hi," I replied.

Mum left the room and closed the door.

"I've read your file and I've got a good understanding about your situation," he said.

"Okay," I replied, not knowing what to say.

"How are you feeling?" He asked.

"How do you think?" I  replied back.

"Bad question, sorry," he said.

"I heard that you tried to kill yourself last night, can you tell me a bit more about that?" He asked.

"I didn't want to be alive whilst he's not here," I said.

"And that's why I want to help you," he said.

"You can't bring him back," I whispered under my breath. He never heard me.

"I'm going to tell you about my sister, she was the most funniest and nicest person ever and she was bullied pretty badly at school and I never realised. One day, I went to her bedroom to call her down for dinner and she wasn't replying so I opened the door and trust me what I saw, I will never get out of my head," he said.