Bexley

7 5 0
                                    

I tried to hold it in,

but I cried my heart out.

but I cried my heart out

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            I woke up with butterflies in my stomach, granted I had seen my family before today, but today is the day that my family was all going to be together for the first time in a long time.

Not only was I excited to see them, but Lazarus and I had news that we wanted to share with them. News that would change things for both packs. Despite my initial wariness, I was growing excited for the change that would be taking place.

It was something that happened suddenly and not at all planned, but it seemed like that was something that happened quite often with Lazarus and I. Everything always came as a surprise with the two of us.

I was excited for what the future held for the two of us. We would without a doubt have to face trials, our mating was still new, there was still so much to know about one another. But there wasn't a part of me that was terrified of it.

After getting comfortably dressed for the day as we wouldn't be leaving until later this afternoon, I made my way down to help Nan with breakfast. Regardless of my initial thoughts about the old woman she has truly been who I needed this past month.

She saw my self-destructive nature first hand, how I didn't care about anyone or anything as I lashed out. It had felt like my soul was separated from my body then. I could still feel the lingering effects, the moments where I had to take a step back and just breath before I let the fury take over me.

We're not sure that the anger will ever completely go away, but I was much better than I was.

"Don't even think about touching anything in this kitchen." The threatening words spilled from Nans' mouth the same moment I stepped through the threshold.

Rolling my eyes, I hauled myself onto the counter. "I burnt a pancake, it's not the end of the world," I exclaimed as I watched her whisk the batter in the bowl.

Her flat stare bore through my own eyes. "You burnt the whole batch and dumped half a cup of cinnamon into the milk."

I pointedly ignored her as she happily hummed. I had been the one to tell her I was no good at cooking and she insisted. It wasn't my fault that she was a stubborn old woman who refused to listen to anyone.

"How is it today?" I crossed my legs under my body as I thought how to answer her question. We played a game every meal, she would ask how I was doing with the part of me that would never be the same again.

"Eh," I shrugged, giving her the answer, she despised.

"Eh?" She questioned, throwing a narrowed look over her shoulder. "I need an actual answer, not a half-assed sound."

A smirk pulled up at my lip as I drummed my fingers on the counter. "No better, no worse. You know it fluctuates."

She didn't say anything else as she pondered my words. If I was honest, I didn't tell anyone but Lazarus what was actually happening in my body. It felt like he was the only one who didn't judge me. He also doesn't take me seriously when I say that I want to rip out Susan, the pack's nosy gossipers, hair out of her pretty skull.

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