Searching || Jungkook x Reader

°Ch.18°

‼ This Chapter contains foul language, depression & cutting... If you are uncomfortable with those topics please do not read‼

Y/n Pov
We got back to Korea 3 days ago and that was the last time I talked to Jungkook and the rest of BTS. My phone is filled woth missed calls and messages from all the members but I just didnt want to talk to them. I've just been depressed and unenergetic. My day consists of me waking up... Not eating.. And now cutting. Today was a free day for me so I decided to go out and have a day to myself. I entered my washroom and cleaned along with bandaging my newly fresh cuts on my arm. I got changed into something comfortable and wore my mask and hat.

I grabbed my keys off of the counter and locked the door behind me as I left my apartment building. I walked down the streets of Seoul with my earphones plugged in to my phone as I listened to my music. It was around 9 at night and so I decided to head towards Banpo Bridge so see the bridge light up at night time. I stopped by the store and bought bottles of soju along with tteokbokki and chips.

I arrived at Banpo Bridge and walked towards Hangang Park where I then sat down on the ground and waited for the bridge night show to start. As I sat down I saw a group of males walk by and sit down in front of me. There were 4 of them, they were wearing all black and had masks on while they took out bottles of water and food from their plastic bags. They continued to talk in front of me and I suddenly heard them mention my name... "Its been 3 days since you last talked to y/n.. What do you think shes doing..?" I recognized that voice... It was Yoongi. I then realized that the other males were Hoseok, Jin and Taehyung.

"I dont know hyung... Jungkook has been a mess ever since. He hasnt been able to contact her because of Lisa. Shes making his life a living hell. I dont understand why shes still hanging out around us." Taehyung responded. I felt my chest become tighter, I grabbed a bottle of soju, removed my mask and chugged it down in a few seconds while tossing it to the side. "I cant believe what we saw the other day.. Remember when we walked in on Lisa kissing Jungkook?" Jin then mentioned. My heart began to sink as tears filled my eyes. I grabbed another bottle of soju and finished it in a few seconds.

I began to cry and I heard a voice speak "Excuse me are you okay?" I knew it was Hoseok. I looked up at him with tears running down and he was shocked to see me. "Y/n?!" He said loud enough for the rest to hear him. They all turned their heads and ran up to me with worried faces. They all sat around me and comforted me. "Y/n were sorry you heard what Lisa did to Jungkook." Jin said as he brought me closer to his chest. "Its fine... I knew it would never work out.. He only saw me as his best friend" I responded as I grabbed another bottle of soju and finished it.

"Y/n dont drink so much" Hoseok asked as he tried to take away the unopened soju bottles but I quickly grabbed one from his hands and drank it. Yoongi sighed and asked "Y/n... Why havent you been answering our calls.?" I looked at up Yoongi while feeling a bit tipsy and responded. "I wanted time to myself... It felt like... Everything is turning against .. Me" I grabbed another bottle from Hoseok and quickly drank it before he could take it away from me. "Y/n stop drinking..." Taehyung softly spoke as I looked up at him with tears running down my face. I handed him my now empty soju bottle and leaned into his chest and started crying again. "Why cant he love me back!!" I yelled while gripping tightly onto Taehyungs shirt.

Yoongi Pov: (ooooo a new pov)
As y/n cried into Taehyungs chest screaming out her feelings I noticed some bandages on her arm. I slowly rolled up her sleeves and saw that he whole forearm was bandaged... I also had a bad feeling about this. I grabbed her wrist and made y/n face me while the others looked at me confused. She yanked her arm away from me and pouted "No!" I shook my head and grabbed her wrist forcefully while u bandaging her arm. Then I saw it, the fresh cuts on her arm. I locked eyes with Y/n who I glared at "Why are you cutting yourself?" She smacked my hands away and replied "Because its the only thing that could relieve the pain that I feel in my heart.!!" She yelled. She grabbed the remaining soju bottles from Hoseok and walked closer towards the briddge drinking the bottles while her body swayed a little bit.

We all carefully walked behind her as she got closer to the ledge. Taehyung pulled her back before she nearly stepped off falling into the water. "Y/n! Watch where your walking! What if you fell into the water, what if you drowned!" Taehyung and Jin yelled. She frowned "What if I wanted to fall... What if I wanted to drown". We looked at her shocked "Y/n what has gotten into you?!" Hoseok questioned. Y/n finished her last bottle of soju and responded "How would you feel? If the person you loved for the past 10 years suddenly comes back into your life. Then breaks your heart?.. I loved Jungkook.... So much and it hurts hearing his name or seeing his face." She threw her bottle into Han River and suddenly her body fell limp into Taehyungs arms. "She passed out... Lets bring her back to the dorm" I suggested and everyone nodded while Taehyung picked up her body. (Oh Jungkook your in for a surprise later)