The Past

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My dad had gotten really sick when I was fourteen, and passed away the day before my fifteenth birthday. My brother moved out shortly after that, he couldn't take all the depression my mom was under. I had a boyfriend before him; he came, got what he wanted, and left me broken hearted and alone.  I thought Ethan could make everything better; he did for a little while. We were perfect together and he completed me; but obviously I wasn't good enough to keep him around, I wasn't what he wanted. I heard loud footsteps trampling up the stairs, my door flung wide open.

"Marie? Are you okay? I heard a loud crash and-" she looked down at the floor where the shattered glass was, her eyes grew big.

"What happened? Did you hurt yourself?" she winced. I rolled over to face her.

"Alice, no. I threw my frame across the room and it broke." I hissed at her. She slowly made her way over to my bed making sure not to step on any glass; she knelt down at the side.

"I just don't want you to get back into that again, it kills me when you hurt  yourself." She had tears in her eyes.

"I'm not, don't worry." I replied, she moved the long strands of hair that were covering my face. "Promise me, Marie. Promise me that you won't get back into that no matter what happens." I looked up at her.

"I promise, Alice." I moaned to her; I just want to get back to sleep. She hugged me and rubbed my shoulder.

"Good." she said sweetly. I turned away from her and tried to fall asleep. So many thoughts were running through my head. I waited until I heard the door close, then I broke down. I cried until I couldn't any more, I just sat in my bed staring at my wall. Trying to hold my body together so it wouldn't fall apart.

~~~~~~~

My TV timer started going off and it changed to the channel 'Who will I Date' came on, I slowly opened my eyes and saw that guy Harry on the screen. He was singing the theme song then went instant close up. His sea green eyes made my heart melt,

"Hello everyone, I am Harry Styles and thank you for watching. Tonight is our first night of the show and we are in Houston, Texas"

I watched the show but wasn't really paying attention, I was too busy watching Harry and thinking about Ethan,

"Alright ladies and lads, that is the end of our show. Next week we will be coming live from Los Angeles, sign up on our website if you would like to be on our show. Thank you and goodnight"

he shot the camera a wink then the show ended.  I decided it was time to get up, I rolled over and tossed my feet around. I touched my toes down onto the cold, wood floor sending a chill up my spine, giving me goose bumps. It felt good, it meant I still had some kind of feeling and the numbness I had been feeling for the past few days had gone away. I walked down stairs and looked around my empty apartment,

"Alice?" I called out but had no answer. I looked around the corner but she wasn't there,

"I'm in the living room, Marie" I heard her yell,

walking into the living room I felt the cold air conditioning hit me through the vent as it kicked on, it sent chills down my spine. It was nice to have some kind of feeling, even if it was unpleasant. It let me know that I was alive and I wasn't feeling numb. I feel like I've been just alive no feeling whatsoever, dull, useless, boring, alone, heartbroken.

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