Blood deep (Black Series 3)

Chapter 10

Theo

As I enter the house, I hear a very familiar song. I think I heard it in a very old movie, when I was a kid. The song is very melancholic and makes me think of Rose. I wonder how she is doing, if she will ever forgive me for not talking to her all these years.

During the past four years and a half I only wrote some e-mails to my parents, every now and then. I wanted to shut down my feelings and I did. All the death surrounding me, all my temporary friends being slaughtered in front of me made me cold, both inside and out. I don't need a serum to walk into the light. That's the only thing I took from my mother, besides her hair colour. I didn't have limits. I killed every terrorist, every rapist, no matter it was from my team or not. I didn't forgive anybody. I became what I hoped to become, an empty shell.

The only one that still brings some feelings in a dark corner of my mind is Rose, the girl I left, that I was supposed to care for. Today is her 18th birthday. A wicked day to return home. Life has a dark sense of humour.

'I don't care!' I mutter to myself. I must shut down every feeling, including all the remorse. I can't allow feelings back into my life. In order to not become a monster again I have to become the ghost of a man, a shadow.

The music continues to play, filling the entire house, filling my ears and my soul. It reminds me of so many things. It brings back too many memories so I decide to go and see who is playing. The house was supposed to be empty. And when the fuck did I get a piano?

As I approach the living room, I see a slim silhouette sitting in front of the piano. Her long dark hair is slightly curled, hanging on her back, her hands are carressing each key as she continues to play, not realizing I am here. She turns her head towards her side as the song approaches its end and I finally see her face in the light of the lampshade. My heart stops as all sorts of emotions rampage my mind, raw and completely out of control.

'Rose?!' I speak with a deep voice that doesn't sound like mine.

Her hands freeze on the keyboard while she turns her head around to look at me, completely in shock.

I turn on the light and see the colour draining from her face. Her lower lip is trembling as she struggles to breathe.

'Theo.' She whispers almost in disbelief.

I can't believe my eyes. Rose is in my house on her birthday. She's all grown up. She wearing a pair of shorts that end above her knees, halfway her thigh and a loose tee that hangs on her breasts. Her face is the same but more defined, more beautiful. Her cheeks are now well contoured while her eyes are as dark as ever. She is a woman now, and a very gorgeous one.

I realize we are both standing there, looking at one another, without saying anything. I try to take a step closer to her but she turns away and runs upstairs.

'Rose?' I call for her but she doesn't turn around. I follow her and she locks the door of her bedroom in my face.

I take a deep breath and go to my bedroom.

'What the fuck just happened?' I whisper to myself, trying to take in everything.

Rose is here. Rose is here. She is here. She is all grown up. She is a woman. These thoughts swirl in my mind.

'Fuck!' I hiss while entering the shower.

Rose

They say be carefull what you wish for because you might just get it. I wished for Theo to return, but I never thought my wish would be granted a few minutes later.

He looks even more beastly than when I first met him. His muscles are ripped. He's not bulky but extremely well sculpted. He came home wearing army pants and an army t-shirt that showed each muscle on his arms and pecks.

I panicked. I choked on my words. All these years I spent building a scenario with what I am going to tell him when I see him, all in vain. The only thing I could do is run to my room.

I start to unpack my bags robotically, just to do something. I finish arranging my clothes at around 1 am and I fall asleep dressed in my bed, in my minty room that looks exactly the way I left it.

I wake up the next day feeling like a truck ran me over. My entire body hurts and my mind is all foggy. As soon as I open my eyes and see the minty walls, I realize it was not a dream. I am here. He is home.

I go and take a shower, remove yesterday's make-up and put on a new one. I slightly curl my hair again and get out the bathroom. I decide on a yellow dress that highlights the lovely tan I got this summer and walk out the room, to the kitchen.

It's only 8am and I'm hungry. I remember the cake from yesterday and go search for it. Maybe it's still good. Everything is a blur in my mind. I can't focus on anything else except the fact that he might wonder into the kitchen any moment.

I sit down at the kitchen island and start eating directly from the cake. It's so good. Thank God for chocolate. I think to myself while grabbing another fork.

Theo comes to the kitchen, only in a pair of shorts and I almost drop my fork. Dear Lord, what happened to him? I stare at his back, while he walks towards the fridge, not realizing I am there. He has so many scars. Cuts, burns, bullet holes, name them, because he has them all.

I decide to say something, anything but my mind is blank again.

'You can have some cake.' I blurt out not being able to say anything intelligent. He turns towards me and sees me holding another fork.

He comes and takes the seat next to me, not saying a word, just looking deep into my eyes. He takes the fork from my hand, brushing his fingers across mine and my entire body shivers at his cold touch. What's wrong with me?

He continues looking at me while eating from the cake in front of us. I'm starting to feel uncomfortable.

'Are you going to say something or do you plan to just stare me to death?' I ask him a little annoyed.

'What the fuck are you doing here?' He asks me not breaking eye contact.

'Oh. So he speaks.' I tell him with a sarcastic voice, a newly found courage surging through me. 'Well, the deal was that I turn 18, I return here. Happy birthday to me!' I press each word in the last sentence.

His eyes slide at my lips and then lower, towards my chest. He stops and stares at my necklace and I cover it with my hand as I turn away to leave.

I can't do this! It was a bad idea! I run towards the car to go shopping for some food. It's his car, but he won't mind. It's not like he needs it right now. I just need to be away from him for a while.