When all our friends are dead and just a memory ( Bastille Fanfic)

Part 66- drinking till I died

Catherines Point of view

This carried on for a few days. Waking up, eating, drinking, falling unconscious. It was a vicious circle that I couldn't break. I didn't want to break. 

I wanted to keep drinking, drinking till I died. 

It's not usually me. Acting like this I mean. It's not really what i'm known for with my friends, being soft. But really this is me. This is the real me, I may have a rough hard exterior but inside I'm a hot mess. I'm too broken and I don't want to be fixed .

I ended up turning my phone off the other day because I was sick of being pestered. I wanted to be left alone but no one really seemed to understand. It was only now I turned it on. It was like I opened the flood gates, messages kept pouring in. Some of my particular favorites were Dans. 

Message from: Dan

I'm really sorry xxxxxx

Message from: Dan

Please can we just talk xxx

Message from: Dan 

Please xxxx 

Message from: Dan 

I'm seriously not going to give up until you talk to me xxxxx

Message from: Dan

I'm sorry for everything I have done. I really mean it. You don't deserve what I did to you and for that I will be eternally regretting but I just wanted you to know. I love you and I will carry on to love you no matter what x 

They were just a few messages I had received the last one was my favorite I was pissing myself for ages at it. 'I will carry on to love you no matter what' How fucking cheesy and unoriginal. 

I grabbed my bottle of vodka downing it like it was juice. It had no effect on me right now, I'm that used to it it just felt like I was drinking water. From my bed I could here banging and it took me a few minutes to realise it was my door. 

"Fuck off and go away" I groaned from the comfort of my bed 

"Catherine" Josh's voice rang through my ears. Shit he's here, he's actually here. What am I going to do I'm a mess, this flat is a mess. I looked around there was at least 25 empty vodka bottles scattered around the floor and 12 gin ones. "I'm coming in and I don't give a shit" 

Next thing you know there was a loud sound of Josh slamming the front door, he ran straight to my room. You could see the sympathy in his eyes. 

"What the fuck have you done"

"yeah it's nice to see you too" I sarcastically replied in my drunken state

"Cat, I haven't seen you in about a week. Please don't tell me this is what you've been doing with your life"

"Fine what did you want me to tell you. A story how I travelled to Russia and I visited the Kremlin"

"shut up" He ran over and hugged me "You stink" 

"I know I just can't be bothered, just leave me here to rot. I don't deserve anything else."

"No i'm not leaving you here like this. I can not let you fall back in to the black hole"

"Honestly I'm fine, you can go"

"Oh please, you probably couldn't stand up and walk in a straight line my friend"