Klance oneshots

Domestic shenanigans

Set when they get back to earth.

"Keith, no, we're not getting Oreos," Lance casually said as he picked up a carton of almond milk. Keith groaned and shoved the Oreos in Lance's face. 

"But Lance! Lookit them! They're double. Stuffed," Keith said with all the seriousness he could muster. Lance pushed the Oreos out of face and looked over at Keith. 

"No, they just say they stuffed it with the same amount of cream as two cookies. That is false. They stuff it only a little more. It's a scam, I tell you. A scAM," Lance said.
"Besides, you can't even eat those, it has milk," Lance said. 

"FALSEHOOD. They're actually made with ingredients like canola oil and corn syrup and-"

"Keith. I'm not buying Oreos! If you want them, use your own money!" Lance said. He continued to push the cart in the next aisle. 

"Okay, I will! But know this, I will remember what has transpired this day and I will use this against you in the future," Keith threatened. Lance looked over at him and smirked. 

"I'm not threatened by you. Look at you. You're adorable," Lance teased. Keith gasped and put his hand over his chest. 

"I've literally killed people!"

"Well, so have I! You don't see me using that as an excuse!" Lance protested. Lance glanced to the right to see a little old lady looking at them weirdly. He nervously laughed with a chuckle and pushed the cart a little faster. 

"And besides, when we were in space, you were more epic. Look at you now, you're a nerd," Lance said. 

"Okay, well, first of all, I was always a nerd, second of all, never forget that and third of all, I could still beat your ass whenever I want," Keith said with a pout while crossing his arms. Lance hummed and kissed Keith's head. 

"Yeah, you probably could, sweetie. Should we get a frozen pizza so we can warm it up and feel like we've made it ourselves like professional chefs, or should he just order a pizza today?" Lance asked. 

"Is that even a question?"

"Yeah, you're right, we'll just order one."

They walked around a little longer before Lance heard Keith gasp. 

"LANCE. We need to get this!" Keith held up a jar of Crofters. 

"'Logan's berry'?" Lance questioned. 

"Yes! You can buy them online at LogansBerry.com!" Keith said as he looked directly at you. Yes, you dear reader. Support Thomas Sanders and help Roman get his own Crofter's jam. 

"Wow! That was so oddly specific! Yeah, let's get a few!" Lance agreed. 

****

As they were leaving the store, Keith jumped into the cart and pointed down the parking lot, which just so happened to be a small hill. 

"Run," He demanded. Lance laughed before taking a running start. As soon as they got momentum, Lance jumped so his feet were on the bottom of the cart and the two of them were flying down the parking lot, hollering and laughing with joy.  As they were nearing their car, Lance jumped down and started to slow the cart down, stopping perfectly by their car. 

"Wow, we've gotten a lot better at that!" Keith happily said. Lance helped Keith out of the cart. When they were done loading up the car, Keith hopped into the passenger seat, kicking his feet up. 
"I'd say this was a successful trip. How 'bout you?" Keith asked as Lance started the car up. 

"I'd say so. When we get home, do you wanna pig out on chips while watching youtube videos?" Lance asked. 

"I love you so much, please never forget this," Keith said with a smile. 

"Hey, do you want to listen to Panic! At the disco? Or... something else?" 

"Showtunes?"

"What one?"

"CROFTE-"

"No. How about Hamilton?"

"Nah, I'm kinda over it. Heathers?" 

"Deal."

On the way back to their apartment, they were both screaming the lyrics to dead girl walking at the top of their lungs.

****

Lance covered Keith in a large blanket before throwing a bag of chips at his head. 
"LANCE YOU FOOL. You could've broken the chips!" Keith complained as he quickly opened the bag.

"You're lucky they're intact. If they were not, I would've rained hell upon you," Keith mumbled. 

"Okay. Sure. So, how are we feeling about a good ol' vine comp?" Lance asked as he crawled under the blanket with Keith, setting the tablet between their legs. 

"Actually, I was thinking we could watch Buzzfeed Unsolved? I hear they have one on Mothman," Keith happily said. Lance smirked and got the video started. 

"I can't believe I'm being replaced by a moth," He teased. Keith rested his head on Lance's shoulder and stuffed a chip in his mouth. 

"You know it, hun. Now shut the hell your mouth, Mothman's coming," Keith shushed. 

"Wow, that sounds bad out of context."

"I'm going to tear your arms off, Mcclain."

"I love you too." 

Hey guys, just something quick, I guess. Also, do I regret breaking the fourth wall? No. Absolutley not. 

But hey just me rambling here, feel free to skip but oh my goD??? I'M SMITTEN??? MY DREAM OF BEING ASKED BY A STRANGER TO DANCE WAS FULFILLED???? WE WENT ICE-SKATING??? SHE'S THE GIRL OF MY DREAMS???? SHE'S AN AWKWARD NERD???? AND WE'VE BEEN FLIRTING??? MY DAD SUPPORTS THIS AND IS GIVING ME TIPS???? WHAT IS HAPPENING??? I'M FU CK I NG S M I T T EN

okay rambling over

Stay awesome my fabulous t-rexs!