Hey. This is a bunch of Klance oneshots because why not? I mean, they're adorable! They're practically canon! So yeah. Yay.
Edit: okay so fair warning!!! These are (unsurprisingly) unedited and the first few stories are a little bit cringy, but that...
Bear with me I'm so bored right now so interpret the timing anyway you want. Also, please let me know if I should add any warnings :)
XXXX: Uh, hey, is this Rolo?
xxxx: Sorry, dude, wrong number.
XXXX: Oh, okay. Sorry for bothering you.
xxxx: Hey, are you talking about Rolo Blander?
XXXX: Uh, yeah, actually. How'd you know?
xxxx: Dude, you may want to avoid him, the guy is a known playboy.
XXXX: Oh, he is? Damn, that kinda sucks.
xxxx: Well, I figured I'd save you from the drama. I'm Lance.
XXXX: Hey, I'm Keith.
Lance: Ugh, you would not believe the kind of day I've had.
Keithyboiii♥: Tell me all the deets.
Lance: Okay okay okay, so you know Nyma?
Keithyboiii♥: Rolo's current girlfriend? Yeah.
Lance: She fuckING MADE A PASS AT ME TODAY.
Keithyboiii♥: YOU'RE KIDDING.
Lance: BITCH I WISH I WAS. IT WAS SO A W K W A R D, SHE DID IT IN FRONT OF ROLO HIM SE LF.
Keithyboiii♥: jesus
Lance: I know, I knOW.
Keithyboiii♥: Hey, how long would it take to get to the middle of the earth. Asking for a friend.
Lance: probably at least more than a few seconds.
Keithyboiii♥: Thank you for your answer, O wise one. I shall take that with me wherever I go and when my grandchildren ask 'hey, Keith. How did you become so great and smart and wise?' I'm going to chuckle and fix my old man glasses and look dramatically out of the window. 'Why, it was one bit of information my friend Lance gave me oh so many years ago.' Then they'll ask what you said and I'll grin and say 'probably at least more than a few seconds'.
Lance: I like how this implies that you're going to be smart and wise.
Keithyboiii♥: I'm going to rip your eyes right out of your face.
Lance: Thank GOD you won't rip my eyes right out of my ARMS because as we ALL know, eyes can be found in more places than just the face, like how you implied in that last sentence.
Keithyboiii♥: Ew, can you even imagine having eyes on your arms?
Lance: I'd really ratHER NOT
Lance: Hey. Hey keefers.
Keithyboiii♥: What.
Lance: _(attached a photo)_
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