Heal my wounds (hiccstrid)

Chapter 40

Chapter 40: death
Tuesday
Astrid pov

"Astrid I truly am sorry. I love you so much and I didn't mean to hurt you,"

"D-did you just say you love me?"

My eyes widened as my hands started shaking nervously. He couldn't love me I wasn't good enough for him he deserved better. Hiccups eyes widened and he let out a sigh dragging his hand through his messy hair.

"Yeah I guess I did, I love you Astrid," Hiccup smiled at me leaning over to hold my hand in his. My slight frown turned into a smile as all the negative thoughts seemed to disappear when Hiccup was holding his large hand in my small one.

"I-I love you too Hiccup, I love you," I happily threw my arms around Hiccup as tears of joy made their way down my face. Hiccup leaned over the console of the car after we pulled away giving me a kiss on the lips. This one was full of love I could feel it when Hiccup wrapped his hands around my waist and pulled me in for once again another hug.

My smiled didn't leave my face the whole way to school and all during first period. When lunch came I was so happy I decided to get a Apple and half a sandwich. As I sat down at our table the whole gang was there talking to eschother about what we should do on the weekend. But then Hiccup interrupted their conversation having an announcement to make.

"Guy my dad is back," Hiccup smiled as everyone cheered for Hiccup. Everyone knew that Hiccups dad was hardly ever home and it sometimes made Hiccup sad, so when Hiccups dad is home the whole gang is happy for him finally having his dad back.

They all knew about his Mum and how she died by well.. my dad. Nervously I bit my lip realising that Stoick didn't know that my dad killed his wife and I'm sure he would t be pleased to know his wife's murder's daughter lived in his house.

Suddenly I felt a arm around my shoulder and I looked up to see Hiccup with a concerned face but I just gave him a weak smile in return. I could feel Hiccups eyes burning holes into the side of my head but I just ignored his gaze and listened into the conversation that was going on around the table.

I looked down to my lunch and realised I only ended up eating half a sandwich which I was okay with I didn't need the extra apple anyways. A few minutes later and lunch was over as everyone went their separate ways hiccup had maths and I had English so we ended up on different sides of the school.

I made my way into the classroom and sat down in the back row not wanting to bring any attention to myself even though I was quite popular I didn't like the eyes on me all the time I felt like everyone could tell what I was thinking and how I was feeling. That thought alone made me anxious.

My eyes furrowed when someone sat next to me normally not many people sat with me at the back. I looked up to see Merida smirking at me while pulling out he books for the class.

"Astrid nice to see you but I need to tell you something," Merida looked down at her nails before looking back up at me. I looked at her a bit confused she has something to tell me? I think we had only talked once so how could she have something to tell me.

"What is it?"

"Well I was talking to Hiccup just the other day about some homework when he leaned in and tried to kiss me, of course I pulled away because I knew you guys had a thing going on and when I asked about you he just shrugged you off and said' you where just a toy' he also said 'you where so whiny and annoying and cried all the time over useless stuff' I'm so sorry Astrid," Merida frowned at me but in her eyes I could tell she wasn't sorry at all she was so happy with herself.

I looked away quickly from Merida not wanting her to see my tears, I let out a chocked sob as I quickly got up and ran out of class. Tears slid down my cheeks as I made my way into the bathroom quickly locking the stall door as I slid down onto my knees. I couldn't believe what I had just heard Hiccup hated me.

He said I was pathetic and if he did it it must be true. I must be worthless and disgusting he must think I'm so fat and ugly. I knew it I knew Hiccup never truly cared he thinks I'm a mess up and I'm a waist of air.

More chocked sobs left my body as I scratched angrily at my wrists I needed to feel the pain I needed to have a release. But it wasn't enough the pain wasn't enough for me. I was really pathetic and worthless Hiccup was the only one keeping me here so if he didn't even like me why am I here?

After a few more moments of thinking I realised that I didn't want to be here anymore I didn't want to be on this planet anymore. Then I walked right out of school. Without a second glance I made my walk down to a bridge that was placed above a highway so if I don't die from the landing I will get run over and I will definitely die from that.

A few minutes later I reached the large bridge that was placed next to a Large Park. I angrily scratched my wrists as sad tears made their way down my cheeks. I looked up and saw a couple sitting on a bench nearby but that was it and I knew they would want to help me so I didn't have anyone to stop me.

Today I was going to kill my self

—
I'm so sorry

I think this book is nearing the end

:(