Heal my wounds (hiccstrid)

Chapter 23

Chapter 23: No regrets

- Wednesday -

Hiccup POV

I slid on a long sleeve top making sure my cuts were covered, the strange thing was I didn't regret cutting, I didn't regret these feelings I have towards needing a blade. I then grabbed my keys and then closing the house door with a slam. Letting out a huff I wrapped my arms around myself as I made my slow walk to school.

The air was brisk and cool, I needed a jacket to protect me, but because I'm lazy I just kept on walking ignoring the shiver that ran down my spine causing my teeth to chatter. My breaths could be seen at how cold the air was and my ears felt like they were about to fall off.

As I reached the school I realized that I wasn't the only lazy one seeing many people shivering with no jumpers. I looked at the ground then back to my wrist I was nervous someone was going to see especially Astrid, and I don't even want to think about that right now.

"Hey, you look really cold" a quiet voice interrupted me, my head sprung up and a slight smile tugged at my lips as I saw Astrid smiling at me with a large coat wrapped around her body to keep her warm along with tight jeans hugging her perfect figure.

I rubbed my eyes I had to stop with this I don't like Astrid I'm just trying to help her through this hard time in her life. "hey, oh I forgot it this morning and too lazy to go grab it," I mumbled slightly flustered that I was just checking Astrid out.

Astrid just nodded before we started walking to my locker in silence, I glanced up and I felt like I was being watched as if someone was there judging my every move. I tugged at my sleeves making sure they covered my wrists. The simple move went unnoticed by Astrid which I was thankful for.

My breathing stopped as Astrid placed her hand in mine, our fingers slowly entwined together. I immediately relaxed and felt a lot better. Hand in hand we made out way to my locker, I glanced up to see a few people looking at our hands, and wanting to know if where a 'thing'

When we made it to my locker her hand slipped out of mine, while I unlocked my code Astrid leaned on the locker next to mine. I needed to apologize in real life this was just unfair to her.

"Astrid I'm so sorry about what I said Yesterday that was stupid and I didn't mean it" I looked her in the eyes, making sure she knew I was speaking the only truth.

Astrid shuffled slightly and looked down at her feet. "It's fine" she mumbled while readjusting her books that laid in her arms. I could tell Astrid was still hurt by my words and I don't blame her what I said was stupid and wrong and I'm so disgusted by my words.

I pulled out a few books that were needed and placed them in my arm, immediately I let out a whine pulling the books off my arm, my cuts were stinging from the pressure that was just on them.

"Woah what happened? Are you ok" Astrid glanced up at me than to some books that were in my other hand and some on the floor. I gave a little nod, I needed to be more careful I can't just give away my cover after one day, that's crap. Astrid's been able to hide hers for years I can barely hide mine for a day.

"You sure?" Astrid pushed I know she was just being caring but I was so done and I didn't want to talk to anyone right now really. "I'm fine" my words came out as stiff and uncomfortable.

Astrid immediately dropped the conversation know I didn't want to talk about it, placing my books in the other arm we made our way to our first class.

- time skip - lunch time -

I sat down at our lunch table looking over to see Snotlout digging into his burger same with Fishlegs, the twins and Heather wasn't back yet but Astrid sat down with no lunch in her hand and it made me concerned.

"You're not hungry?" Snotlout spoke up asking Astrid as he didn't even stop to think to swallow his food. "No, I'm not hungry"

I let out a sigh making sure Astrid heard, to know I'm disappointed she's not eating. Guilt was all over her face but I ignored her and kept on eating my meat pie. I glanced down at my wrists they were stinging slightly with the scratchy fabric of my top. My eyelids were heavy I was so tired I barely slept last night and I can't imagine tonight is going to be any better.

I was always worrying about Astrid about how she might be so sad and down with her life she might just do it. I was so fucked up everything about me and my life is fucked up. From my sleeping schedule to my thoughts to my looks.

I looked a mess my hair fell messily framing my face, the bags clear under my eyes but still no one said anything no one mentioned it. No one cared. I was messing everything up trying to stop a girl from hurting herself and I was doing the same to myself.

"You ok mate?" Snotlout lightly shook my shoulder, I barely made eye contact with him before I closed my eyes, I just wanted Astrid to be happy but I can't do that one simple thing I just didn't know how to help her.

"M'fine" I mumbled as I shook his hand off my shoulder, no one was listening to our conversation they were just going about their daily life. I reached up and ruffled my hair slightly trying to make it look at least decent.

"we need to talk" Snotlout's stiff posture and wide eyes made me worried. "wh-" I was interrupted quickly by Snotlout "Now"

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Hello

what do you think Snotlout wants to talk to Hiccup about?

If you get it right I'm gonna comment under you hahaha

I love all my readers so much!!

I'm thinking about writing a modern hiccstrid story with out these issues and stuff would you want to see that?

IM SO SORRY I'M TRYING TO UPDATE MORE STARTING NOW SORRY SCHOOL IS BEING A BUM LMAO

love you all

- Asty xoxo