Heal my wounds (hiccstrid)

Chapter 33

Chapter 33: so much support
- Monday -
- Astrid pov -

— at school —

"So I'll see you later," I gave Hiccup a hug and a small peck on the cheek. "For sure." He smiled down at me before pulling away and giving me one last smile and walking away. I let out a happy sigh. hiccup and I had gotten so close after last night, we kissed but we haven't really talked about it. We have shared some small kisses here and there but it's kind of confusing.

We weren't dating but we know that we have feelings for each other, but the thing is none of us want to speak up about it. I happily sighted to myself Hiccup had been making me so happy I was away from my dad and I honestly felt so much more happy. I had only had a few times I've felt the urge to cut but other than that I hadn't felt so sad as before.

"Hey," my head jerked upwards at the sudden sound but I relaxed when I realised it was Heather.

"Hey Heather,"

I smiled at her, she looked slightly nervous this morning and on edge. "You okay, you seem worried or nervous?" I looked at her worriedly and my eyebrows furrowed when she quickly shook her head and timidly smiled at me. I knew something was up but I could clearly tell she didn't want anyone knowing so I just nodded my head making sure to keep an eye on her, just in case she's not.

"I just want you to know if you need anything I'm here for you," I pulled her in for a hug, Heather was my best friend and I wanted to be there for her if she needed me.

"Thank you Astrid, your amazing," I shook my head laughing quietly before pulling away from the hug. "So how's Hiccup?" Heather winked at me and laughed when I turned red.

"W-what no we're not a thing, I swear," I nervously but my lip trying not to feel guilty for lying to Heather. The thing was I wasn't actually lying to her. We didn't even know if we had a thing, besides Heather probably wouldn't care that much about my love life.

"Yeh sure," she started laughing even more at my red face. I let out a grumble as I stated walking to my locker with Heather not far behind still laughing at me. I opened up my rusty locker and pulled out my books for maths.

"You know, I think Hiccups going to ask you out," my head jerked suddenly causing it to slam into the locker. That news was very unexpected, "w-what no he could never like me," I scoffed as I gestured towards myself in disgust before rubbing my bruising head.

I didn't notice Heathers concerned expression when I said that. I slammed my locker door shut. "A-astrid," I looked up at Heather who had a concerned look. I didn't expect her to actually take notice of my comment, I mean everyone else just ignores it.

"Astrid who told you that? Because whoever did is blind, your beautiful and Hiccup would be so lucky to have you." Heather smiled at me before pulling me in for a warm hug. I hugged back she made me feel like I was worth something and I couldn't thank her enough.

"I love you like a sister Heather, thank you," I mumbled into her shoulder. Heather was my beast friend and I love her with all my heart words can't describe how much I appreciate her and need her in my life.

We pulled away from the hug that made me feel so comfortable after a few seconds and  I felt so happy maybe she actually did mean what she said and I couldn't be anymore thrilled. I gave her one last smile before we both started walking towards maths block.

Heather already had all her books so we didn't need to stop by her locker. I whistled quietly to myself as we walked down the corridors that where filled with loud voices and laughs. The noises made me wince away. I didn't really like screaming it reminded me of my dad and when he would get angry at me, and it made me panicked.

I slowed down my breathing we where so close to the classroom I couldn't break down now! So I slowly tried to calm down, after a few seconds I was calm again. Heather didn't even notice so that was a plus so I didn't have to explain it to her. We reached the classroom and sat down at our seats I was seated next to Snotlout. While Heather was next to Hiccup on the other side of the room.

"Hey," I waved slightly at Snotlout as I sat down next to him. He smiled at me, recently he had been acting different, I didn't know why he was a lot nicer to everyone and it confused me. I shook off the thought as the teacher came into the room and wrote down what worksheets we had to do.

As I got out my book I sighed quietly to myself. 10 minutes later and I was only on the second question, while everyone else was almost done. I felt dumb even though Heather and Hiccup make me so happy I couldn't stop the bad thoughts from coming into my head. Right now they where telling me how I was so dumb and no one would like me.

I squeezed my eyes shut and clamped my hands together when there was an itching at my wrist, telling me to open up and slice my skin. I tried blocking out the thoughts I had promised Hiccup I wouldn't cut, I promised him.

"You ok," my eyes shot up to Snotlout. I didn't even know was watching me. I just stiffly nodded my head trying to not give away any ideas of how my feeling or what I'm thinking.

"Okay, but if you need anyone, just know I may be an asshole sometimes but I'll listen to you if your ever sad or need someone to talk to," he smiled at me a genuine smile. I had never really seen this sincerity in snotlout's voice before and it made me feel like I did have so many supportive friends everywhere. The voice where just lying to me.

The thing that stressed me the most was that the thoughts where still there, and so was that strong burn at my wrists.

—
Monday update !!!

Ugh I have school tomorrow, help me!!

Love you all

- Asty xoxo