Heal my wounds (hiccstrid)

Chapter 29

Chapter 29: bracelets
-Astrid POV-
Saturday morning

I let out a groan as my eyes fluttered open, I looked around and saw that everyone was asleep. Great now I had to make breakfast for 7 people. I waisted no time and quietly got up making sure Hiccup didn't wake up from my movement because recently he's been looking really tired and I can't help but feel guilty and it's my fault that he's been so out of it. But I recon that he's sleeping better and I'm thankful for that.

I turned on the pan and made a pancake batter pouring a nice circle shape onto the pan, I let out a breath slowly closing my eyes. I was trying so hard to be happy and I didn't know what to do. It was like a sudden mood swing and I didn't know what to do. I took slow steady breaths and tried to just focus on something anything other than how I'm feeling.

"You ok?" My eyes snapped open and my head whipped around to the voice, there was Hiccup with a concerned face looking at me. I briefly nodded my head before looking down at the pancake and flipping it over.

"M' fine" I mumbled out, I tried not to turn around and look at Hiccup because then he will know that I'm not ok and not feeling too good. I just wanted to be strong for him, and able for him to go a day without worrying so much about me.

I heard shuffling behind me then I felt him from behind wrapping his arms around me. My eyes widened at the position we where standing in, I had to be honest with myself Hiccup had been a lot more affectionate towards me in the past few days and vise versa.

I tried to not show that I was nervous so I slowly flipped the pancake over and saw it was perfectly done with a golden brown colour. I needed a plate to put the pancake onto but I didn't want to leave Hiccups arms. "You need a plate?" Hiccup just read my mind.

"If you don't mind" I smiled gently, I was so happy that I couldn't explain it Hiccup and me cooking in a kitchen just imagining this when we are older with young kids running around. I blushed at the thought of hiccup and I getting married and having children, hiccup probably doesn't like me. He probably does this with like ever girl.

Hiccup placed the plate gently onto the marble counter but I wasn't watching Hiccup smiling at me I was looking at his wrist. My eyebrows furrowed in confusion as I saw faint red lines placed on it.

My heart rate picked up quickly and not in the good way, I knew Hiccup would never do it. I mean he's been telling me how bad it is when you cut and how it doesn't help anything but put scars on your wrists. There where heaps of bracelets so I wasn't sure if I was just seeing stuff or it was a bracelet.

I wanted to ask about it, I really did he didn't deserve this he's too innocent and perfect. "Um H-hicccup." I almost whispered out as I placed the pancake onto the plate before turning around to look Hiccup straight into the eyes.

I needed to know if this is real, because if it is I think I might cry, Hiccup has been stressing so much over me that he's not been able to take care of himself and that is horrible. "Astrid you ok?" He placed his hand on my arm gently rubbing a land down, it helped me calm down just a bit even though me stomach was going wild.

"I don't want to make you uncomfortable but becuase you have helped me so much I want to help you, I saw on your wrist there where red lines and I'm worried that their cuts" I gently spoke up.

Hiccup seemed to instantly stiffen and his grip on my arm loosened, he looked pale almost and it worried me. "Hiccup" I whispered gently grabbing his hand, I slowly turned it so I could see his wrist. I looked up to see if Hiccup wanted me to stop but he looked as though he had given up and stood there in defeat a guilty look on his face.

I tugged the bracelets upwards to see a mark that should never have to lay upon Hiccups skin, there where 9 vertical cuts that ran across his wrist. My eyes looked down as they started to water, I had so many questions but I knew that he needed time to answer them and I understood that.

But the cuts there was only nine it didn't look like he had ever cut before, there where no scars just 9 healing cuts. Slowly a tear ran down my cheek as I pulled his bracelets back down. "Please don't cry" hiccup pulled me in for a hug. I just let him and sobbed into his shoulder I'm sure I would of woken up the others but I didn't care I was just so broken that Hiccup would do that to himself.

"W-why" I chocked out, pulling Hiccup closer and burning my face into him. "Because I was stressed and I had f*cked things up" my heart dropped at that hiccup shouldn't think so lowly of himself he's so perfect he is anything but a f*ck up.

I pulled away from Hiccup and looked him in the face he had slightly watery eyes with tear stains on his cheeks. I placed my finger onto his chest angrily he needed to know how everyone saw him and how much we really needed him.

"you Hiccup are perfect to me. I don't know what planet your living on but you don't need to do this to yourself, no matter how stressed you feel call me and I'll help you I promise, and Hiccup your not a f*ck up everyone loves you, I love you your amazing Hiccup and you need to know that" I ranted trying to get the point across that he cared so much to me and he shouldn't cut up his skin.

I knew I sounded like a hypocrite but I hadn't cut in a while so I was doing better.
"T-thankyou" Hiccup pulled me in for a hug once again and I just let him he needed it but so many questions where left unanswered when did he do it? Has he done it before? I was nervous and wanted him to just be happy because every deserves to be happy.

Especially Hiccup.
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Sorry this is a little late :/

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- Asty xoxo