"Football is a Man's Sport" My Derriere.

"Football is a Man's Sport" My Derriere. {12} Part 1!

for a minute there I got scared that I had nothing to type. And then I got mad at my sister, who this charcater is sort of based on by the way, and bang! there goes the idea.

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If you're mad at your kid, you can either raise him to be a nose tackle or send him out to play on the freeway. It's about the same.

--Bob Golic

"Only in this county would they think of starting school on a Wednesday," my mother grumbled, rushing around. It was the weekend already, much to her schedule's displeasure.

"Liz, I'm going to need you to go grocery shopping shopping for me. Take Jayden with you, here's a shopping list. GABE AND SASHA IF YOU DON'T GET YOUR BUTTS OUT HERE IN THREE SECONDS! Make sure that your brother does something other than sit around all day please."

"How am I supposed to do that?" I asked, chewing on my frosted flakes.

"Don't talk with your mouth full, child. Better yet, just take him with you as well."

"But--"

"Do it for me. He's your twin, you two are supposed to get along. GABRIEL AND SASHA! COME ON OR WE'LL BE LATE!"

For some reason, people always thought that it was some kind of law that boy-girl twins had to be inseparable, which was totally bad for me and Ty, because, well, we never did see eye to eye completely. I sighed and swallowed. "Fine, I'll do it for you."

Sasha walked out of the hallway, looking fabulous as always. She adjusted her purse. "I'm ready."

"Get in the car, we'll be late. And why are you wearing sunglasses?"

"The sunglasses complete my look, mom."

"You LOOK like Ray Charles. We're going to the dentist's office, sweetheart, you don't need all that."

She huffed and went out the door in them anyways. My mom rolled her eyes. "Cheerleaders. Anyways, thank you darling, you're a life saver. GABRIEL THOMAS KANE IF YOU DON'T GET YOUR BUTT OUT HERE IN THREE SECONDS!"

Gabe rolled himself into the doorway a minute later. "Sorry, I had to go to the bathroom." He said, rolling out the front door. My mom turned to me. "Call me or your father if you need us, don't lose Tyler, and watch out for my baby. I love you." She pecked me on the cheek and started to leave.

"Mom?"

"Hmm." She stopped and looked at me.

"Money."

"Oh, sorry." She dug in her purse and put a bunch bills on the table, than walked out the door, shutting the door and locking it behind her. I sighed and drummed my fingers on the counter, finishing my cereal then washing out my bowl. I put it up and went to go wake up the beast.

Me and my twin brother only had a few things in common. How much we liked to eat, how competitive we were (that sort of ran through the family though), and how much we liked to sleep in. I heard loud snoring coming from his room and opened the door. My mom didn't let anyone keep their room messy to the point that it was ridiculous, but his was bordering the limit. I tiptoed over, crouched next to him, and yelled as loud as I could, "WAKE UP!"

He jumped about a mile in the air and sleepily glared at me. "What was that for," he asked drowsily. I poked him. "We have to go grocery shopping. Get dressed and meet me at the door in ten minutes." I got up and started walking towards the door, but turned around. Sure enough, he was asleep again.

"I will do it mom's way." I threatened. He got up, putting his hands up. "I'm up, I'm up. Geez woman." Mom's way was getting a bucket ice cubes and already-freezing water and pouring it all over your body. It was a sick, twisted way to yank someone out of their dreams, but it worked.

I went to my room and put on a light white blouse, a really long skirt, and some sandals. It was too hot for jeans or sweats. I straightened my hair, leaving it down, and brushed my teeth, then went to Jayden's room to waked her up and dress her. Her room was pink and blue, with a little princess bed and sparkles and fluff everywhere.

I shook her awake and picked some jeans and a light blue t-shirt with Woodstock on the front. She was shuffling around. I threw the clothes on the bed. "Put these on, we're going shopping."

"Kay." She took her pajamas off and slid on the clothes. I tied her hair up into two giant puffs with a pink ribbon and a blue ribbon. I gave her some pink clogs and we went out of her room.

"We'll stop somewhere for breakfast, okay?"

"Okay."

Tyler came out of his room a few minutes later, wearing a pair of jeans and a tight black shirt with Nikes. "Let's go."

"I'm driving." I said.

"No, I'm driving."

"You just woke up. I have the keys." I held up the Hello Kitty key chain. "I'm driving. Now let's go."

He frowned at me but didn't say anything as we went out to the Escalade. I got in, while Ty hoisted Jayden into the back seat and climbed into the passenger seat. I cranked up the car and blasted the air conditioner, turning on the radio.

"Where are we shopping first?" He asked. I kept my eyes on the road. "We're going to Walmart, then the International Market for some cooking spices that mom wants. She made a list of stuff we need to buy." I pulled into the Walmart parking lot. "And do me a favor, Ty. Don't go chasing the first hot girl that winks at you, I don't want to be here for a long time."

"I'm not ten, I'll be fine."

"But my patience won't."

"Fine then, give me the list." I looked at him warily while waiting for the car in front of me to move. He rolled his eyes. "Just give it to me."

I handed it to him and he rippied, straight across the middle. He handed me one half. "There. Now you and Jayden can shop for some stuff and the hot girl and I can shop for the other stuff. I dressed for fishing, Liz. You can't expect me to follow you around like a puppy dog."

"Don't buy any crap."

"I won't. Now drive."

I grumbled to myself and parked, killing the ignition. "Ty, listen. Don't go out of the store. Don't get kicked out of the store. When it's time to leave, if you're not there, I'll hunt you down and kill you. Got it?"

"Yeah, yeah whatever. Don't lose Jayden."

"I won't."

"And don't get her sugar high again."

"I won't."

"Come on."

We got out of the car and I put Jayden on my hip, walking to the front of the store. I grabbed one of the buggies that had the little kid thing on it and Jayden climbed on.

"Let's go, Jay."

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