Step Brothers

Road Trip - Chapter Eleven

"What? Why not? It's totally not embarrassing."

"Cause it's my grandfather's name from my mom's side and I pretend that side of my family doesn't exist."

"Uh oh."

"Anything else?" I said, trying to change the subject fast before he got any other ideas to continue on the subject.

"How were you as a teenager?"

"Horny. Next question."

"Oh."

"You are bad at this."

"Are you religious?"

"No."

"On a scale of Neil Patrick Harris to Titus Andromedon, how gay would you say you are?"

I blinked at him. "What?"

He looked at me sad and patted my back. "It's okay, nobody's perfect." He pulled back to grab his phone when it vibrated. "Fortunately for you, I'm here to provide excellent homosexual agendas and teach you the ways which you have been missing from your life."

"Like a party full of gay people?" I muttered as we both got up.

"You act like you've never been to one." When I shrugged my shoulders he looked shocked. "Seriously? You've never been to a gay party?"

"Can't say I have."

"You've at least been to a party, right?"

Shudders. "Yes, mostly in high school."

"Okay, so," he talked as we walked outside to the Uber car, "the only difference in this party is that your ass will be slapped a couple of times, but don't scream sexual assault cause it's only for good fun, but if you do get uncomfortable just tell them you're a bottom, since almost everyone there will be bottoms, and then they'll leave you alone."

"How on Earth do you make sense of the things you say?" I was starting to think of Leo, and then it made me think of Nicole, and then it made me realize I was such a fake gay. I had no idea what was going on but everyone else around me seemed to be pretty damn understandable.

"Bottoms are like sharks that can smell blood, only bottoms can smell tops a mile away. There's a lack of hot tops around here, and you are literally the hottest piece of top I have ever seen so they will be over you. I'll try my best to keep them off so you can enjoy yourself and have a good time, but if I can't do that then you need to either accept your fate or become a bottom."

"Oi," I said, rubbing my temples.

"What? I'm half joking, don't take me serious," he said laughing. "Seriously, I'm joking. Just have fun. It's not a big party. Just friends."

~ Squishy is back to guide you safety onto the next scene

The party definitely wasn't big. There were maybe a dozen people, maybe some more would arrive, maybe not. Dakota introduced me to his friends and they all seemed nice but I could feel their eyes burning into my skin like hot knives. Everyone was gay. There was one lesbian talking to a dog in a corner. The music was loud but not loud enough that I couldn't hear conversations. And there was a lot of alcohol.

"Hey, want a drink?" the lesbian asked me when she finished her conversation with the dog. I wasn't being rude, Dakota told me every guy here was gay and the girls were bisexual and then this girl was a lesbian.