Is this the end...

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Summers point of view:

A month has passed which means my mum will be home in 3months, i still haven't been able to find a donor for my liver but I'm getting worse, me and Conor are still strong though probably even stronger than ever, he's been coming to the hospital everyday and hasn't left till about 10.00pm, I think today when he comes he is going to take me for a stroll in a wheelchair and get me a drink and fresher if its alright with the doctor. I still can't wear any normal clothes or pjs due to the tube going through my right hand side to keep draining the fluid so i don't have another bleed before i can get a new liver, but the nurses have helped me so much to get a semi wash and they have been so good to Conor for letting him stay till 10.00pm every night even though visiting hours finish at 8.00pm i think it is also because I'm the youngest here on the major ward plus i have my own room so I'm not disturbing anyone. 

Conor's now here and the doctor has been round and he said its fine for me to go out the ward for a bit if I'm in a wheelchair so thats what we did. We had to get a very complex wheelchair to fit all my machines on the back, so my draining, oxygen etc machines. We walked down to the lifts and it was a little bit awkward, we then went down and brought some drinks from costa and then went outside to sit. 

Conor's point of view:

We walked outside with our drinks on Summers lap, i stoped walking and pulled up the wheelchair and she passed me my hot chocolate and we just talked. I could see Summer was getting a bit cold because she started to shiver even though she was waring my jacket. Summer i think i better get you back inside, i said. Conor I'm fine just a little cold thats all. I wasn't convinced at all but it was her choice. We finished our drinks and walked back in, but i got stoped by someone calling my name CONOR MAYNARD on repeat behind me so i stoped.

It was a little girl who must of only been 7 or 8 who was walking with her mum to the entrance, I wouldn't of stoped if it was someone else but i knew i had to because she had cancer i was guessing, she had the same IVs coming out of her nose as Summer did and she had no hair on her head. Summer turned around and gave me a small smile to go and see the little girl so i did. Conor i love you so much and your song Cant say no its helped me so much. which i knew what she meant by that. Would you like a picture i said bending down to the floor still keeping a eye on Summer. Oh yes please Conor so i did and just before her mum took the picture i gave her a big hug which she returned. And soon left with a big smile on her face and i went back to Summer and wheeled her back to the ward.

We got back to the ward and Summer didn't look good at all she looked really ill again as i placed her into her bed. And thats when the doctor came round and gave us the besets news ever! Summer we've just had news that the hospital up the road has just got given a liver by a patient and its your blood type so we are going to be peeping you for theatre in 30 minutes and you will then hopefully be better and the bleeds will stop. He left and me and Summer just looked at each other with a happy look in our eyes and both went in for a hug. 

Its now been 25 minutes and the nurse should be coming round now to take Summer into theatre but something happened to Summer. All of a sudden she went really pale, cold and all the blinkers went of on the machines and her BP dropped, all the nurses came running in and Put a load more machines onto Summer an just before they took her away one of them said it could of been because she was outside and she's caught a cold and its interfered with her liver and they rushed her to theatre....

I was a mess again i was crying my eyes out and i could still hear all the bleepers from the machines from down the hall, this is all my fault i screamed i shouldn't of token her outside and thats when Megan came round from the corner of the door and tried to calm me down. Conor calm down she's back in theatre and everything is going to be under control don't worry, she tried to comfort me without getting herself upset in the process because Summer was also her friend as well as patient and neibour...

 Conor calm down she's back in theatre and everything is going to be under control don't worry, she tried to comfort me without getting herself upset in the process because Summer was also her friend as well as patient and neibour

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I promised myself and Summer i would stay here until she came out of theatre no matter how late in the morning it was going to be, and i did. I stayed in the exact same seat from 12.00pm when she got rushed into theatre till 14hours later when she came out. Her body looked lifeless and very yellow which the doctor said thats from the transplant, they got the infection under control of what it was when i took her outside just the unclean air got into her lungs and fucked it all up for her, but at the moment she is stable and nurses kept on checking on her every 5-10minuites of the night. I was half asleep but still wary because once and a while her BP would drop and the blinkers go of again because her body is struggling to fight the infection, which then the whole night ward would come running in and making me worry even more about my girl...

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