The Boy with Bad Habits

Chapter 71

Clap. Clap. Clap. Clap.

And I continued to slap my hands together as if sarcastically applauding a horrendous performance. I carried a sickened smile while walking through the balcony door. Stomping each foot for each step. My eyes trailed up her stunned body. She froze and jumped the first time I clapped. Long since ended the call, clutching the phone to her chest. Bright-eyed and frightened, Rachel's appalled expression was not at all concealed.

"I would call you an evil, rotten, heinous, disgusting, narcissistic, cold hearted, bitch but that would be considered a compliment for the likes of you," I snarled; my facetious act never discontinued.

Clawing. The need to toss this fucked up individual over the balcony was clawing at my insides. I wanted to scream, yell, and punch everything in sight. She wasn't known to me anymore. Because the truth of the matter was, I never knew her at all.

And suddenly majority of my vexation did retreat when the root of it was futile. I don't know why, but a year ago, seeing that same detachment and false sense of security in someone else made me think we could protect each other; someone to lean on. That had long since changed, but to watch it unfold before my eyes took me down another level.

"Get out," I uttered emotionless.

She still had that same blank stare and bashful stance, petrified.

"Get out!" Yelling with all of the might in me for her to snap out of what ever far away place she went off to summon up excuses. No, I was done with this in all its entirety.

Rachel's mouth opened only to close again. Her eyes went to the balcony door that I had been standing adjacent to. Hastily, she dashed inside and trailed to my bedroom. I guess to gather her belongings.

It really hurt how much time and thought I put into one person. You could even say embarrassing.

As I walked in more casually than she did. My feet followed after her to my bedroom ensuring that my items will stay put as she packs and shortly exits.

When I reached to where I heard shuffling. I took note of how frantic and humiliated she appeared. A part of me felt triumphant, though it did not fix the pointless betrayal. It was supremely idiotic to conjure up those feelings given it was somewhat expected from her.

Rachel's eyes rarely blinked as she forcefully shoved items of clothing and necessities for good hygiene into one of those reusable ninety-nine cent store bags; as much as she could fit in there.
Her next move had always been premeditated and I guess since this wasn't in the deck of cards, she folded all of 'em on the table right then and there.

So on accord, I let the pulsating mourning within me transpire out onto to my tongue. "Truly, it was quite the experience I had appeasing your needs Rachel. And I seriously doubt there was ever a 'family' or 'siblings' you had to cater to. I've put together that Jared must've pulled a you on you."

Her movements were suddenly rushed as if attempting to distract herself from hearing this. But I knew she saw me in her peripheral. I didn't have to be listened to, just heard.

And on continuing while leaning against the door looking the complete picture of tranquility when I was anything but. "Throughout this time I've spent with you, it has taught me a lot. My skin has gotten tougher even though my heart was a little bruised in the process. I don't regret what we had, whether it was all a lie or not. Adamantly, I have tried to shut it all out. And instead of allowing myself to grow from it, weeds began to flourish. The constant atmosphere of toxins took over my life. Perhaps, your intentions for coming to me weren't to kick me when I'm down but to face what it's like while always being on the ground. Regardless, thank you for the lesson, I've accepted my faults and have acquired the strength to forgive you and hope life treats you better than how you've treated me." My words were meticulously characterized into a combustion of sensitivity.