The Boy with Bad Habits

Chapter 56

Everything began to go through that endless cycle I had once gone through before. My grades started to slip, left and right a blunt in between my fingers. No contact with anyone except for Nonna and Dean. Tony hadn't uttered a word at school, with bags under his dull brown eyes and a face void of any emotion.

Alyssa hadn't even showed up to school and I was beginning to get concerned for both of their wellbeings. Although, that was hard to do when I wasn't even sure about my own.

Willow tried speaking to me. Visiting as often as she could yet I never answered the door. Lydia's vehicle started showing up in the parking lot and I worried for her safety. Though she showed up to school without a mark or scratch on her body, I would've been able to tell if they were hidden with makeup. Alas, she wasn't appearing as desperate as I once saw her in the beginning. Despite that, I was unable to look at her without seeing Blake. The flashbacks grew more and more frequent. A grave feeling of nostalgia blanketed me day in and day out. It was so hard to look in those desolate, grieving eyes and not be remorseful. But she did that to herself.

She went with Blake all on her own. He resided in his corner and hadn't been attempting to quarrel with me. I had not seen his face very much at all in school since the incident on the kickball field. Maybe he had a car and chose to drive that instead of riding the bus.

My heart ached and I felt out of it. This wasn't supposed to happen. Nonna tried to pick and prod me on what was going on but I couldn't give her answer. Because it wasn't as though Willow and I were together, screwing, or had anything official going on.

Then why did it hurt so damn much?

Rachel had tormented my mind and Willow was starting to enslave me with the same familiar feeling except worse. I hated not knowing what was going on with me. Stuck somewhere on the spectrum between emotional and emotionless.

"Ace, what's the hold up man? Pass please." Dean's glazed over eyes met mine lazily. "You can't hog it all."

After exhaling, feeling the buzz of positive emotions and carelessness, I offered it to him which he gladly accepted.

However, I'd felt like I had overstayed my time at his house. Daniel spent the night over his friend's house than his own. Their mother (whom they lived with) never got home before I left.

"Hey when's your birthday?" Dean's eyes weren't focused but I knew the question was directed at me. He resided on his king size bed and I sat in the rolley office chair he had in front of a corner desk. Hardly having anything on it and the room was surprisingly clean compared to mine.

Contemplating it for a minute, "The first of December."

"That's pretty cool when you add that on top of Christmas," he gave me a toothy grin while sprawled out on his royal blue comforter.

Then it vanished. A puppy calender was tacked to his wall and he squinted just enough to see the date. "Wait... that's tomorrow bro!"

My careless attitude toward it was the norm. "Your point being...?" I asked after he passed it back and exhaled.

"This is your what, eighteenth birthday? You have to bust through that shit like SWAT in your front door man."

He proceeded to mimick and attempt to knock down an entry way. I chuckled, "I've never been the type to have those extravagant parties because of effort and money. It's not my thing." I waved it off to drop the topic. Another reason was due to the fact that every year as a kid I waited looking out of our screen door in New York for the two people who should've been there the whole time.

"Don't worry about it Ace, we'll have it here. It'll be fan-fucking-tastic!" His enthusiasm made me envious. Years prior to it all, the only thing Nonna could provide in terms of a gift was a cupcake. We were broke and barely could afford food and frequently spent time in the soup kitchen for homeless.