Emily.

Emily 27.

?No you look beautiful.? I smiled.

?Thanks.? I smiled. He was still looking. I started feeling weird. I giggled.

?Denzel stop!? He laughed and punched my arm.

?Bully!? I stuck my tongue out and put my shoes back on.

?Let's go to yours!? I said holding his hands, I could feel his eyes staring into my back. We soon left and walked. We were both quiet. We got to his house, after some long silence. I saw that girl Chanelle, I wonder whatever happened between her and Denzel. She looked at me amazed, she still looked the same, she was pretty. She just went back in doors and I followed Denzel in.

His house was decorated, he must of done it, he's good at that stuff. Might get him to do mine at this rate! He sat down and I sat opposite and smiled at him.

?Your mum told you init?? He nodded. I nodded slowly.

?I feel so good now. I know I didn't want to go, but if it weren't you I'd die.? I smiled gently. He smiled.

?I was worried about you.?

?I know, and I'm sorry about everything.? I said and bite my nails.

?Aww it's okay.? I smiled and it was quiet again, and he kept looking at me. I started fidgeting. I played with my hair.

?Where's James?? He shrugged.

?He comes and goes, he last stayed here two weeks ago, he comes and goes really!? He said. It was quiet again. I just didn't have anything to say. He came and sat next to me and I slowly moved closer to him. He slowly put his arms around my waist.

?It's my birthday soon.?

?Yeah, having a party? Clubbing, getting drunk?? I laughed.

?We both know what happened when I did though?? I stopped laughing and looked away, I just wanted us to forget and move on.

?Yeah.? I said quietly.

?Hmm, I was thinking somewhere hot.? He smiled. I was slightly confused.

?Erm It's February, it's cold!? I said.

?Holiday. It would be sick.?

?Please not Ayia Napa!? I sighed.

?No like Spain!? He smiled.

?Erm all your friends aren't going to pay, their stingy little assholes!? I smiled. He laughed.

?What about just you and me.? I froze.

?Erm well err...it would be cool.? I said clearing my throat. He laughed.

?Are you sure?? I laughed and nodded.

?Good because I booked the tickets.?

?How did you know I would say yes?? I laughed.

?You never turn me down,? He said in my face. I smiled and nodded. I looked down at my hands, I was getting fidgety because he was staring at me, he was being such a perv. It was scary, but funny.

?Denzel you keep looking at me.? I laughed.

?Can't help it, you look so different.? I smiled.

?I changed my hair, and I like make up now, my friend Rebecca showed me how to put it on properly.? I said happily. He smiled and stoked my face. He's acting really different, he made me giggle.

?Your hairs nice, and your top.? He said stroking my arm.

?Thanks.? I smiled. He nodded and played with my hair.

?Why don't I make us dinner!? I smiled.

?Can I watch.?

?Yes of course! You learn something new everyday, I did at that place,? I smiled getting up. He got up too and wrapped his arms around me.

?Your batty's is bigger.?

?Denzel!?

?Sorry I can't help it!? He pushed himself onto me, and kissed my neck. I smiled and touched his arms, he'd gotten much more bigger in the muscles and those boy things they excerise with. He wouldn't let go, so I just cooked like that with him watching over my shoulders. I made some fried rice and found some raw chicken in his fridge and seasoned and cooked it.

?You cook some good food.?

?Thank you.? I smiled. I missed this, all of it, being with him and just doing normal stuff, he was always gonna be here, no matter where I go, I respected him for that. I finished and took our foods to the living room and he sat me on his lap and we started eating.

?You gotta pack, we're going in two weeks.? I smiled.

?Does your mum know??

?Hell yeah! She's like go!? I started laughing.

?It's hot there isn't it??

?Very, and they got all these things we can do and these places we can see.?

?Aww that's good. I need a holiday.? I said.

?I know,? I smiled happily and kissed his cheek.

?You got bigger!? I said.

?You got curvier!?

?Mmm you still eat like a pig.? I smiled.

?You still make my eyes light up when I see you.? I looked away shyly. He put his plate down and hugged me.

?I love you.? He said quietly. I remember him saying all these things when I was not well. I didn't want him to mean it that way, because I'd get hurt, somehow, he never stays with a girl, I know him, he gets bored and just leaves.

?Yeah...? I replied. I'm not gonna say I do if I don't and because he's Denzel, things have changed!

?No I'm seriously in love with you.? He said, very determined. I sighed and placed my head in my hands.

?Denzel, please don't!?

?I can't help it, I've tried for time, but your all I think about!? I didn't say nothing.

?I do Em, I really do, I love you.? I hadn't said that word in a long time, not since it was the day before my birthday and when I slightly still was not there.

?I don't need this now!? I sighed.

?I know, I'm sorry.? He said and sighed. He sat back, and didn't say anything more.

?I'm finding things difficult with these feelings?? I said quietly. He looked at me lost.

?Huh??

?Like I felt the same way, I wouldn't have have had sex with you if I didn't!? I blurted. He nodded slowly.

?Sorry.? I laughed silently. He grinned and sighed.

?Not fair, I didn't even get to enjoy that!? I started laughing.

?It was a sticky situation, but it's funny when I think about it! What a crazy girl I was!? I smiled. He grinned and nodded.

?So??

?I don't know if I feel the same way.? He sighed. ?BUT! I want you to just give me time, I don't want us to be like every one else, it's not right, just give me abit of time, just to get used to being Emily again, because right now, I want a lot of things, loads of things, and I doubt my feelings.? I said. He nodded, and understood. My mind was still making up it's mind. With Denzel, it could actually take years, and finally decided he's JUST a best friend.

?Still my best friend, whatever the situation.? I said. He nodded.

?All the mother fucking way!? I kissed his cheek and smiled. He hugged me and we sat in silence. I was feeling different about this holiday, slightly dreading wearing a bikini or something in front of my best friend, sweet Jesus help me. Since we weren't on holiday, I can act normal for a bit. It would come soon though, very...