Fanboy (boyxboy)

Human

Clay spent the whole ceremony sitting on Eli's feet. He was quiet right up until Adam dropped a rose into Cole's grave. Then he turned to Eli with a horrified look on his face.

"Papa, Adam lost his flower," Clay whispered. "Can you get it for him?"

"No, baby, he put it there on purpose," Eli picked up Clay.

"That's weird. Why didn't he keep it? It was on Cole's box."

"He'll get to keep the other flowers, he doesn't need that one."

"I'm kind of hungry," Clay put his head on Eli's shoulder. "When is the food getting here?"

"We'll eat when we get home," Eli promised. He saw Pastor Ben lift his hands. "We're going to pray now."

"Okay, put me down."

The house was more crowded than Eli had seen it since Cole and Adam's housewarming party. It was nice to know Clay had other kids to play with to help keep him entertained. Adam, on the other hand, seemed just as lost and empty as every other day.

"I'm going to take him with me," Cole's mother told Eli as they were saying goodbye to everyone that night. "He needs to get away from here for a while, and it's not good for the little one to see him so upset."

"Adam?" Eli frowned. "You're taking Adam?"

"Yes. He said he wants to go."

"I don't know," Eli glanced at Clay. "I think it's okay for Clay to see us be sad."

"It's okay for a little while," Cole's mom nodded. "But Adam needs to be with family right now."

"Oh," Eli felt like she may as well have smacked him. Family. Not like him, the other man. "It might be good for him to get away. If he wants to, I mean. He should."

"He was afraid it would upset Clay, but I told him it would be alright."

"Clay will be fine," Eli looked at the little boy just as he scooped the dog into the bed of his dump truck. Flower sat down, as if he'd given up on protesting. "I should get him ready for bed."

"Alright. Thank you for understanding, Eli," Cole's mom gave him a big hug. "I know Cole really loved you both."

"I know, I did too," Eli nodded, turning before he could get too choked up.

It was another restless night. Eli woke up around 3 and couldn't fall asleep again until almost 5. He scrolled through posts about the funeral and was shocked to see the pictures of himself getting out of the car after Adam. It was stupid, but he'd never even thought about how that would look.

A little bit more scrolling told Eli that most of the fans seemed to think he was working for Adam. It was an obvious explanation, Eli could admit that, and it was better than having them guess the truth, but he didn't love thinking that was the only way the fans could see him. The help. Was that really all they thought of him?

He put his phone away soon after that, drifting off to sleep before he could think of the best way to respond. Maybe it didn't need a response.

Adam was in the kitchen when Eli woke up the next morning. His eyes were red and glassy but Clay ran to hug him before Eli could stop him.

"Adam, you need a bath," Clay backed up, fanning his nose. "You stink."

"Sorry, Rotten," Adam sighed. "Hey, can I have a hug though?"

"Not until you shower."

"Clay, give Adam a hug," Eli wished Adam would look at him.

"Pew," Clay made a face but gave Adam a hug. "You can be sad in the shower. Papa cries in there, you know."