scomiche one-shots

.idk where this is gonna go.

hey. i know i havent written the imagine yet IM SORRRYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY.

but soon, my frens. soon.

anyways. im v emo rn and feeling everything. idk where this is going but

late night thoughts with emmett. :)

-

there are these moments in my head. moments that seem too perfect. when i get to see my two best friends in person. when i get a chest binder and see who i truly am. when i meet pentatonix (which i am november 9th JHVSAUBIJNDBISJN). when i get to perform music for people as fucked up as me. when i get top surgery. when i start testosterone. when i get a grammy. when i get to live my life. when i get to see my friends live their lives. when i go on my roadtrip with my best fren. when i get to introduce myself as emmett. when i just get to live.

i dont get to live in my imagination anymore. 

i have nightmares. bad ones. 

i have thoughts. bad ones.

i have days. bad ones.

but then...

i have dreams. good ones.

i have thoughts. good ones.

i have days. good ones.

sometimes i have more bad than good.

but theres still good.

sometimes i feel alone.

but theres still people.

sometimes i feel like dying.

but theres still life ahead of me.

i know most of the stuff i said before wont come true.

but maybe, my teeny ounce of hope inside of me will pay off.

maybe a few years from now, ill be playing my music in a little basement venue with 50 people, even less.

i can say to myself, "you did it, man."

maybe a little more years after that, ill be coming out from a surgery room. my chest is flat.

i can say to myself, "you did it, man."

im scared for my future. isnt everyone?

but, i still have that ounce of hope left in me.

ive been searching for purpose for a while.

if you find something, tell me. 

i just wanna say something to myself back in 7th grade.

shes coming back. she doesnt hate you.

youre a guy. the confused thoughts will go away.

your friends will support you, i promise.

your parents wont, but youll try to get through it.

youre gonna write a lot of songs. and theyre good, i promise.

youll cut your hair. 

youll feel like yourself, a little. 

you dont need to cry every night.

theyre ok. they didnt get hurt.

your parents will stop fighting.

therapy isnt that bad.

you wont feel like this.

you dont need to die.

your friends do care.

you have people who love you.

youll be prettier.

youll feel prettier.

you will want to be alive.

you will stay alive. 

i love you.

youre still fucked up as me, so i dont hate you. 

sometimes i stare at the color-changing stars on my window and start crying. 

i think about my friends.

morgan: my best fren.

you will laugh about stupid shit at 3 am.

you will sit on your lawn with beach chairs and have deep thoughts.

she will call you your brother.

you will cry.

you will write an indie movie with her.

sam: my emo fren.

you will start a band with her.

you will find your second favorite band from her.

you will make music.

you will write terrible songs at midnight.

abby: my everything, aka platonic goals.

english will be the funnest class.

she will make you feel better about yourself.

you both will slay at the talent show.

you will be sad when youre on different teams for 8th grade.

you will snapchat everyday.

ash: my best internet fren.

she will make you cry laughing.

youll be so done with her at times.

she'll help you out a lot.

you'll make the best inside jokes of all time.

one day you'll meet her, and oh will that be interesting.

finally, the most important, katelyn: my girlfriend.

you wont be able to eat your heart will be beating so fast.

you'll fall so hard for her.

you cry of joy sometimes.

you'll be the luckiest guy with her.

you'll be happy when theres tears in your eyes, because she made you happy.

youll be blushing at 3 am.

god, you will be so fucking in love with her.

youll text her till 5 am on a school night.

youll have countless dreams about her.

every thought in your head is her.

she will save your life.

and when you meet her, your life will be complete.

i love all of you guys, even though some of you arent reading this. 

and as i lay down in my bed, listening to artsy music with rain sounds in the background, ill think about all of you guys.

you helped me find my passion.

you make me smile with each little comment.

you make me feel better when im having bad days.

you are the reason why im still writing on here.

and i couldnt thank you enough.

ive been a mess lately. ive been crying for no reason. dysphoria is kicking my fucking ass.

but moments like these...

nights... v good. 

i love you all.

goodnight. good morning. good afternoon. 

please stay alive. please have an ounce of hope. please know theres people who love you.

one of them is me.

- emmett <3