scomiche one-shots

.stupid.

Everything is stupid. You're right next to me, you can fit in my hand, you're always by me. But I still can't touch you, or talk to you, or even see you. I miss you so bad I need to punch my computer screen to stop my crying. I'm so stupid. My stupid head making me think I can just talk to you whenever I want, whatever I want. I always talk about myself. I always change the subject to make it about me. God, I make so many stupid excuses to get attention. I'm such a stupid idiot. You're so stupid. You shouldn't fallen for me. I'm going to ruin your life. You gonna regret everything and honestly I don't know why you came back. I'm not worth it. I'm not worth anything. But I miss you more than ever. I have to pretend you're here and then I break down because I'm just kissing my hand and cuddling a pillow or laughing by myself. The waiting game is over. Yes, I know you're coming here, but you don't realize what mistake you're making. I'm scared for my life. I don't know if I can do this. I'm so nervous and stupid and just a fucking waste. We both need to realize that I'm not worth this. You can think otherwise, but I don't know why you do. I'll have bloody knuckles and wet cheeks by the end of tonight. And then it'll go on again and again and again. I'll keep on slowly hurting myself until I get knocked out. People don't realize what this does to you. You cry out for them every night. You get so frustrated that they're not here and you start hurting yourself. You feel so alone even though they're right behind that barrier. And you can't do anything about it. You just have to fucking suffer.

So. Fucking. Stupid.

my writing is shit now sorry. this is some vent writing. some get it, some don't. im just tired. goodbye.