Roommates || Garmau AU

Epilouge

Three years after the accident

  She's gone.

And I can't get her out of my head.

I watched my (kind of) niece, now six and ready to go to school, grow up.

Without Aphmau.

She would have been so proud of little Skylar. She's grown up to be such a mini her.

I miss her.

I miss her so much, I stay up most nights just silently sobbing.

I have nightmares on the nights I don't stay awake. And when I wake up, she's not there anymore. She's never there anymore.

I can't do a damn thing about any of it.

And that's what kills me. I see that she's gone and that she went through that accident, and all I can do is sit there and cry for her.

Travis has been sleeping with me a lot. Not like that, obviously, but he's been comforting me.

  It's really sweet of him. And it's really nice to not worry about him touching my butt.

  I like him. I like him a lot.

   And I miss Aphmau. I miss my Aphmau.

 

  

   She was amazing.

   Her sense of humor, her smile, her laugh.

  Everything about her.

  I loved her. I remember it like it was yesterday.

  I remember getting over her. At least I thought I did.

Deep down inside, I would forever love her.

  I've been though so much with her. The coma... The issues. The hit.

  Everything.

  I miss her. And it hurts to know that she's gone.

  I miss my Aphmeow.

 

    I've been sleeping with Katelyn a lot.

    And frankly, I'm scared. I'm scared about loosing Aphmau and it hasn't completely settled into me yet.

     I miss Aphmau. I miss her smile and her laugh.

  Everyone loved her. Regardless if it was true love or just friend love or just a crush, everyone loved her.

  Everyone from college would've been hysterical. They all would've been sobbing their hearts out.

  But now it's just us doing that job.

   I think Garroth took this the hardest. But it's been hell for all of us.

  His little girl, Skylar, has been doing okay. She's been sad, but keeping Garroth going.

  God bless that child.

  I just hope that all of this sadness goes away and that one day we can all smile.

  And that one day Katelyn will be mine.

   I miss Aphmau.

   I miss her so much.

  
   She was like a firework.

   She lit up the whole sky.

  Her laugh, let alone her smile, made anyone feel butterflies.

  It seems like only minutes ago that the  spunky, smiling, in love and happy girl was sitting next to me.

   I graduated a year before her, but we were still close.

   And it hurts to know she's gone.

   I miss her. I miss Shu.

  I miss Aphmau.

  I've taken this the hardest out of everyone.

   My life has been turned upside down, and I can't flip it back.

  She didn't deserve this. If anything, it should have been me.

  Skylar is left alone with a shit dad and the thought of a beautiful, amazing, wonderful dead mother she won't even remember when she gets older.

  We don't talk about Aphmau. I wish we did.

  She's six now, and goes to school in September.

  She knows what happened. She just doesn't remember it clearly.

  And I feel terrible. I feel horrible.

  I love Skylar with all my heart. She's the only piece I have left of Aphmau, and she's my daughter. She's the light of my life.

  It's been a rough three years without Aphmau, but as long as I keep her in my heart, I don't think she's really gone.

  She will never be truly gone. There's too many things to remember about her.

   So, this is to Aphmau Jessica Ro'meave; my one and only:

   I hope you have a shitload of breadsticks up in heaven. You deserve them.

  As for now, I'll try and hold on, just for Skylar.

  I love you, Aphie.
 
   I love you. And I will never, ever stop.