Remeber Vote Comment & Fan
Please&ThankYou
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The days that followed went by all the same. I woke up from a mostly sleepless night and got ready for school. School sucked as usual and I mostly kept to myself even amongst my friends. They had all asked me about my sudden change in attitude, I just shrugged it off as if it were nothing. But, in reality it was more than nothing. Every night this week as soon as I closed my eyes I saw Mia and Bryce's faces and the guilt would come back; though I was sure that it never went away in the first place. I didn't want to talk to anyone about how I was feeling, no one would understand anyway.
I hadn't seen Luke out of school since the first day of school. The only time I saw him was in class and occasionally I would see him in the halls. Neither of us went out of our way to talk to each other. I was glad for that because I still wasn't sure what I was going to do about the whole dinner thing. I hadn't made up my mind about it yet so I wouldn't have an answer for him if he came and asked me for one.
God I hated how I was feeling, it seriously sucked. On top on the pain I was extremely tired. If I added up all the hours of sleep I had this week it would just barely reach twelve hours in total. It was only the beginning of the year and I was already having a hard time. I couldn't concentrate on anything. Mia and Bryce consumed all my thoughts. I knew that soon the school would be contacting my father but in all honesty I could really careless. His lecture about my schooling would be that of an Alpha instead of a concerned father. Oh the joys of my life.
I was starting to think that if I had just stayed instead of running for two months and blocking out everything that maybe I wouldn't be feeling like this right now. I knew it would still hurt but I was pretty sure it wouldn't be so damn raw like it was now. It was like I was reliving everything all over again. In a sense I guess I was, I hadn't dealt with it back then and now I was paying the price.
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It was Friday and I was in double art starring at the blank sketch book in front of me. I hadn't done anything in this class all week or any other class for that matter. I just didn't have the drive I usually did, it was like my creative outlet had shorted. I tapped the end of my pencil against the desk willing something to come to mind so I could transfer it to paper. Class was almost over and I was beyond frustrated. It was like my mind had stopped working all together content to just torment me on the loss of my sister and best friend. I just wished that it would all just go away, I don't know how much more of this I can take.
As the bell rang signaling that class was over I stuffed my things back into my bag with more force then necessary. I was frustrated, tired and over all just completely over it. With a huff I shouldered my bag and waited for Alli to finish up getting her things together.
"What's going on with you today?" she asked "You seem more moody than usual."
"It's nothing, don't worry about it."
"With you it's never nothing." she sighed
"Really, it's nothing, I'm fine." I said trying to convince us both
